A Month to Love
by Lazlo Pizazzlo
Summary: It's been months since Amy has accepted Sonic merely as a friend, but she is caught in what she thinks is a never-ending depression. Once she sees Shadow, though, her life and love starts to change, and she must act fast before he leaves forever. ShadAmy
1. Prologue

_Finally it's finished!! The ShadAmy story I've been working on for months has finally been completed! It took several long nights and drawn out afternoons, but I'm somewhat satisfied with how it turned out...probably not the best thing ever but, hey, it works._

_This story is going to be the base/central plotline thingy for almost all my Sonic stories after this. I can tell you it will have immense impacts on stories to come so I really highly reccomend that if you plan to read any of my Sonic fics to read this one first!!_

_I think that's it...I hope you all enjoy it!! Thank you!!_

_-Laz_

_(All characters copyright SEGA)_

* * *

_"I didn't wish to get heartbroken, so I hid my feelings. I was happy, for you gave me that smile…_

_Someday, when I walk with you in the cold morning mist, the shining road will stretch on forever; always."_

_-Hikaru Michi, "The Shining Road"_

On a warm spring night, the sky was clear and the stars were bright with hardly a cloud floating in the darkness. The sun had set over two hours earlier before my eyes, painting the sky different pinks and purples. The colors made me think of several different things as they swirled about in the sky, both sad and happy things, but it made me reflect on what happened to me in the past. It was amazing to watch night come into view and to think how much time had passed by just by sitting and waiting, something I thought I would have never thought I would have the patience to do.

For me, patience had been one of the aspects of my life that I couldn't control. It was that, and love.

I had loved a hedgehog named Sonic for countless years, only to realize that it wasn't love at all, but more like a childish quick conclusion that would only lead me down a dangerous, heartbreaking road. After Sonic had saved me once from a villain, I thought that it meant we were destined to be lovers forever; someone who came to save me without any hesitation was a dream come true, and surely it meant he was my prince charming. So I chased Sonic around everywhere he went, and he only ran away from me, leaving me in the dust with his unmatched speed; it was his choice method of rejection.

Once I grew tired of running after him 24/7, my mind was flooded with groundbreaking thoughts. Perhaps he wasn't the one for me; maybe it was just a mistake to jump the gun and assume romance between us. I distanced myself from the blue hedgehog, but didn't tell anyone that I moved on. Soon enough, I went into a spiral of depression, never wanting to love again. I felt meaningless and hopeless, constantly kicking myself for falling into such a joke. Yet somehow I managed to look at Sonic and be alright with him there; I never once confronted him about what heartbreak and sadness he caused me. My heart denied his presence but my mind was still locked into our so-called "destiny".

Then Shadow came into the picture.

He was daring, mysterious, and quiet, not to mention strong and brave. He didn't consider himself a hero, but considering what he had done in the past for the planet said otherwise. Shadow was originally created as a cure for a diseased girl named Maria and was an alien-hedgehog hybrid. Shadow carried the body of a seventeen-year-old black hedgehog, but was truly ageless and immortal. He loved his human family aboard the Space Colony ARK, keeping them close and wanting only protection for them. But as soon as the military heard of Shadow's incredible power because of his alien genetics, soldiers invaded the ARK and his human family was killed, he narrowly escaping, leaving him to roam the world in despair. It was the saddest story I had ever heard in my life, second to the death of my own parents, and everyone thought that his seek of revenge for Maria's death would go on forever.

But when it came right down to it, he stopped the world from total destruction three times; once for defeating his prototype from crashing the ARK against the world and suffering amnesia for it, once for helping fight off Sonic's metal copy from taking over the planet, and once for defending the humans' reign on Earth from his alien creator, Black Doom. He sacrificed his life for everyone and whether he wanted to admit it or not, in all of our eyes, he was a hero. He was to me, at least.

Shadow impacted my life in more ways than one. He had unknowingly pulled me out of despair and showed me the way to hope and a chance at love once more. When I saw him come into our home one night, I remembered everything about him, and something in me clicked. My heart found its way to Shadow, and I followed him like a magnet until I had a particle of courage to summon up to say one word to him. I felt honored whenever he said something back; it was as if he were a god speaking to me. I was just an ordinary girl, after all. Just as I felt like I could have gotten close enough to him, something happened, and our connection was broken.

I felt empty once more and convinced myself that nothing would ever make me happy again. The only place I wanted to be was underneath the stars, the very stars that he showed me and sat with me under countless times. Cream, my best friend in the entire world, had a hard time keeping me happy, and I knew it. I felt bad for her, but I was helpless to do anything about it. I returned to the immortal sadness that would never leave me; I fell in love, for real that time, and it vanished from right under me. Every time I saw the bright moon, the very moon that Shadow helped save, I wanted to cry.

I hugged my knees as a breeze caressed my pink quills. It was just a month ago that I had missed the chance to tell him of my feelings.


	2. Moving On

Everyone had settled down after eating their dinner on a late April night in the living room. It had been a long day for Sonic and the others full of fighting off our arch-nemesis, Dr. Eggman, and it showed on the boys' exhausted faces. While Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails had gone off battling his robots, I was given the usual duty to look after Cream, a small, charming little rabbit. Though the five of us were completely diverse from one another, we felt like a family living under one roof. We spent the day making dinner and going for walks outside, but we stayed close to home in case the boys called us. They returned safe and sound but looked worse than they usually did; it seemed that Eggman was getting stronger somehow.

Cream and I sat steaming cups of tea on the coffee table, a mint brew specifically chosen to help them relax. I pitied the boys for their exhaustion as they lazily picked up their cups and took a sip, leaning back in their chairs. Cream and I took ours last and settled down on the sofa, but as Cream drank hers delicately, I held mine in my hands, savoring its warmth. I had been in a steady depression ever since I found out Sonic had no interest in me. It wasn't that I was heartbroken; it was that I was disappointed in myself for wasting all my time in going after Sonic. I felt like I had achieved only artificial happiness because I had talked myself into it. Luckily for me, Cream had always stood by my side and tried to cheer me up whenever I had the worst of days.

"Mm, thanks, you two…" Sonic mumbled tiredly. Cream replied for me.

"You're welcome, Mr. Sonic; but it was really Amy who made the tea." Cream smiled at me. She and I knew full well that she was lying; Cream made everything that afternoon happen, including the tea, but she was really trying hard to get the others to cheer me up as well.

"Really?" Sonic replied, perking up. He was forcing enthusiasm; even I could tell. "Well, Ames, it tastes great. You should do this more often."

I only nodded in reply, not daring to look up. The room turned silent after that; it was ordinary for everyone to think I would have freaked out over Sonic's compliment to me, but in reality, Cream and I were the only ones who knew that my obsession with Sonic was over. He was completely unaware that I had "dumped" him, but I sort of wanted it to stay that way. I thought that telling him would overcomplicate things.

I spotted Knuckles gulping down his tea in one swig ferociously. He slammed his cup onto the table, startling us.

"That stupid Egghead is getting on my nerves. He needs to find a better hobby than to build those cheap excuses for robots of his everyday," the red echidna growled. Cream stood up quietly and got the kettle from the kitchen. She refilled Knuckles' cup without a word and set the kettle on the table. Just as Cream sat down next to me, Knuckles snatched the cup angrily, taking another full gulp of it as if it was alcohol.

"He's getting stronger, too. We keep coming home more worn down than before." Tails sipped his tea next. His blue eyes held the feeling of dejection as he let his head drop down. It concerned me when Tails was sad; he was a brilliant inventor that made robots and technology of any kind, and what was even more surprising was that he was only a few years older than Cream. He usually remained proud of his work, let alone the entire team for their effort, and when I saw him that sad, it made me wonder if something severely bad happened to either him or his inventions.

"It's either he's getting stronger or we're getting weaker. Either way, we need to get our game together." Sonic sounded serious now as he leaned forward in his chair. "What I want to know is how he's getting so strong."

"Maybe he's just suddenly finding out all of our weaknesses and making robots to poke at those weaknesses. It's the only thing I can come up with, that or he's finally gaining some I.Q. points over the years." Knuckles said, crossing his arms.

I finally took a sip of the tea as my thirst was beginning to get the best of me, but in doing so, I forgot how hot Cream had made the water before steeping the tea. As the tea entered my mouth, it almost burning my tongue, and I nearly spat out my drink in reaction. Everyone stared at me as I tried to swallow it and catch my breath. Unfortunately for me, Knuckles had taken my reaction the wrong way.

"You wanna suggest something, Amy? Go ahead. In fact, why don't you just go out with us and help fight?" he barked. Knuckles wasn't just tired, he was frustrated, and I had never seen him take it out on me before. I was almost scared of him. I shook my head, taking the defensive route.

"No, sorry, you don't understand – my tea; I almost burned myself with it and –"

"Yeah, yeah. You might as well just stay out of the conversation because you weren't there to begin with, Amy." Knuckles snapped again. I gulped, slinking back into my invisible shell. I was about to defend myself once again but Sonic beat me to the chance.

"Easy, Knuckles. Easy." Sonic interrupted. It was the first time I was actually happy he came to my rescue. "There's no need to take it out on Amy, okay? We're all just a little tired from today, and besides, is that really how you should be treating the girl who made dinner and this tea for us?"

He winked at me. My stomach quivered in disgust, something I thought I would have never done when he did that sort of thing. I prayed that he didn't have a crush on me somehow now that I gave him up. As a response, I simply looked away, tracing circles on the carpet, trying not to look too flattered after the comments he had given me. Though in their defense, it had to be at least a little confusing for Tails, Knuckles, and the blue blur himself to have seen me so unresponsive to Sonic.

The red echidna simply glared back at the blue hedgehog. I hugged my knees, sensing a fight brewing between a hot-head and a smooth talker, one that we all knew who would win. And as soon as the verbal fight commenced, Cream leaned over to me as if it weren't a big deal.

"Those boys never stop, do they?" she whispered. I gave her a small, pitiful smile. "It's okay, Amy. I'm sorry the tea's a little hot."

"N-no, no, it's not your fault. I wasn't thinking." I replied. She smiled, scooting over closer to me.

"Remember tomorrow morning, okay?" Cream chanted. I nodded, feeling slightly happier than before now that she was here. She was referring to when her mother came to walk Cream to her mother's house to spend the day; I would always say goodbye at the door, exchange a few words with her mom and off they would go. Cream was usually back home after dinner. Because she was only a child still, her mom still was uneasy to let her only little daughter live with the rest of us, but just as long as Cream visited every week with her mother, she could live in our house as long as she wanted. It was my duty every Tuesday morning to watch her go out the door, almost as if I were a guide.

Just as Knuckles's face was turning as red as his dreadlocks, we heard three clear knocks at the door. We all froze, turning our heads to the door simultaneously; it was odd for us to get visitors, especially in the nighttime. If anything, we always assumed it was a trap sent by Dr. Eggman, only because our home was secluded from neighboring cities like Westopolis and Central City. Tails slowly slinked off of his chair, mumbling that he would volunteer to answer the door. He tip-toed towards the door and stood on the tips of his toes to see through the peephole.

"Oh…no way…" Tails muttered loud enough for everyone to hear. Sonic stood up from the sofa and took a few steps forward, assuring Tails' safety. I leaned forward to see the two as my curiosity got the best of me.

"What?" Sonic asked in his normal voice.

Tails swung the door open, revealing a black hedgehog leaning on the doorframe. His red streaks traced the top of his quills, echoing his crimson eyes. He only had a black jacket on, his gloved hands stuffed inside the pockets, not appearing to be moved by Tails' reaction, but he still carried an impatient air about him as Tails stared. It was a hedgehog known as Shadow; he never sought out companionship, and in fact, it was assumed that he loved being alone more than he liked being around others. His past was full of death and destruction, and it influenced him greatly for what he fought for, but rarely did any of us see him due to his lone wolf attitude.

"Sh-Shadow?" Tails stammered, stepping backward.

The name sent my heart pounding. I took it as a simple shock to my system, but I could feel something more brewing in my stomach.

"Tails," he replied in a low voice. It sounded different to me for some reason, almost…more stirring. I couldn't quite tell what it was, but his tone was refreshing to hear. "Is Sonic here? I need to speak with him…"

On cue, Sonic walked into Shadow's view and smirked as his eyes beheld the Ultimate Life Form. "Shad! How are you and that military job doing?"

Shadow's eyes darkened. "That was what I needed to talk to you about. May I come in?"

The two nodded in a way that acted like fear, and he stepped inside, the door shutting tightly behind him. He simply kept his hands in his pockets of his jacket. A jacket, I thought, was interesting for him to have on in such nice weather. Knuckles stepped into the front hallway, suspicious of Shadow's reason of being in our home, but stayed silent and waited to hear him out. After snapping at me so harshly, I was stunned to see him so quiet when he saw the black hedgehog. Cream peered over my knees at him cautiously.

"You need something to drink, buddy?"

Shadow shook his head, ignoring the nickname. "I'm fine, thanks."

I suddenly found myself rising, moving towards the front hallway as I carried my empty cup of tea like it was a sentimental belonging. As I came closer in view to Shadow, I could see his perfect stature closer and my heart stuttered. I felt askew, like I was just glued in a new picture that I didn't belong in. It felt different, awkward, and strange in so many ways. But at the same time, the feelings I had felt amazing and intriguing. I sort of liked it. Before I knew it, my hands were empty, and the air filled with a sickening crash. I swallowed as five pairs of eyes shifted their focus at my feet.

_Oh, God, _I gasped, _what just happened?_

I had to cover up for myself, for whatever just happened, but I couldn't stop looking at the black hedgehog. I was in a trance of something I had never felt before. Within seconds, his piercing red eyes found my soft green ones. Something clicked, like a spark in a fire, and I shook like a leaf. The spotlight was on me now, and I could feel the heat. I was just praying that I wasn't sweating.

"Amy!" Cream yelped from behind, looking at my feet from behind. "What did you do? The cup…oh, no…"

I felt a pang of guilt as I intercepted the distressed words. _I dropped it! _I yelped. Shadow's gaze remained fixed on me. I could just feel him finding my cheeks to be unnaturally red. It was so embarrassing, but I couldn't move at all. I couldn't escape the spotlight, not yet, at least. He took some interest in me, and Shadow, surprisingly enough, started talking to me.

"I haven't seen you in a while. How are you?" His tone was casual, yet it was his usual cold-sounding voice. Strangely, it made me loosen up a little bit, but I still couldn't quite get a grip on myself. It was like falling onto a cloud; relieving and peaceful at first, but then you realize that the ground was coming next.

All that came out of me was unidentifiable confused stutters. I felt like an idiot; I didn't know why I was such a mess and it made me feel worse. My heart raced and my throat grew dry, but Shadow remained patient among the others, who were now embarrassed for my sake. Knuckles shook his head, Tails looked away, and Sonic smirked quietly, as if he knew what was going on. That did it for me; I would show Sonic what amazing response I could dish out. I finally gathered myself together, after what seemed like hours, swallowing through my mysterious anxiety.

"I-I'm doing okay. Fine, yeah…how about…you?"

If I could have, I would have smacked myself in the face; some amazing response I had. A nod would've been better; heck, no response would've been the best.

"Managing." Shadow mumbled, suddenly looking irritated. I frowned, wondering if it was my fault he suddenly turned angry. He stared at the mess at my feet for moments on end until finally continuing. "Do you need help with that?"

My trembling and uncontrollable emotions and actions stopped, and reality somehow finally brought me back to the surface of reality. I felt more awake than before now. Seeing Shadow looking at the floor made me drop my head to stare at the mess on the ground. Bits of ceramic were scattered on the floor. I cursed in my head, knowing that I was bringing too much attention to myself now. I brought my hands up to my cheeks, realizing the trouble I made for myself.

"I…um…" He walked towards me whether I wanted him to or not. I bid farewell to reality again as my hands trembled again. I was helpless; it was a vast spiral of entrapment and I was stuck in the middle of it. I snapped my eyes shut, feeling my face flush as his eyes looked me over. My mind was disconnected with my actions as I simply fell to my knees and stared at the mess. I reached out to pick up one of the pieces, trying to regain my composure at the same time. To my surprise, Shadow's hand caught my own. I stared up at him in amazement.

There was a long silence before he said anything. My heart pounded in my throat. "Don't touch it; you'll end up getting hurt."

I could feel my temperature rising. I was such a klutz, and he was right. In this state, I'd probably end up mortally wounding myself with a small piece of ceramic. We gazed at each other, obviously for our different reasons, but we seemed to ease after a few seconds. His eyes were strangely calming to look into. A door slam from behind me startled me. Shadow simply brought his head up, scanning Cream from above me. She stood with a broom and dustpan, struggling to keep them both in her small hands as she walked briskly toward us. Shadow hoisted me up to get me out of the way. I felt like a burdensome rag doll, but his hand clasped on mine made me feel more alive and thriving than ever before.

"Do you wish for me to do that, Cream?" Shadow asked softly. The generous question threw everyone off, including me, after past experience with the black hedgehog. His unfeeling and cold heart had suggested him to be uncaring and self-centered, leaving everyone to tend to themselves. Cream looked up amidst her work, shaking her head merrily. She seemed to be the only one who didn't feel as if Shadow's comment was out of place.

"Of course not, Mr. Shadow. This isn't your house; and besides, you haven't been inside but for a few minutes. It'd be rude of us to make you do all the work."

In a way, I was glad that she said no. Shadow just got in the door, after all, and to have him instantly start cleaning would just be out of place. That, and Shadow cleaning would be hard to look at; he was a super-powerful hedgehog that wielded unimaginable power. He wasn't a janitor, much less a servant to anyone.

But despite that, he frowned, nearly looking hurt again. "I see…yes, well, I probably should get to the point for my visit."

Sonic piped in, walking out from behind the staircase. "Sure, Shad, let's get to the living room and we can chat."

Tails, Sonic, and Knuckles moved back to the living room after staring at us both as Cream finished sweeping the debris up from my clumsiness. Once finished, she disappeared behind a door in the kitchen to place the broom and dustpan in its original spot. Shadow and I were left alone. I realized that our hands had been intertwined the entire time. Shadow looked uneasy as I felt my cheeks turn red.

"I was hoping you would notice and let go, but I didn't want to make a scene," he mumbled harshly. His tone made my heart stutter in a different way than the first. My eyes widened.

"Agh! I'm sorry…!" I released his hand, cupping my cheeks to hide my red face. Shadow shrugged and began to undo his jacket, fumbling with the onyx buttons. I watched in awe, as if I had never seen the action happen before. As the jacket began to come loose, my eyes glanced down at his white tuft of fur on his chest. It was becoming increasingly hard for me to breathe. Luckily, he didn't take note of it and simply tossed his jacket on the stairway. Something in his jacket jingled quietly upon impact, but I didn't think much of it at the time.

"It's fine." he replied simply. "You have a strong grip is all."

Shadow brushed by me, making his way toward the living room. I stared after him, watching his black quills delicately bounce with each strong step he took. He was so unaware, I thought, that I was going to go after him very soon. So blissfully unaware, just as I had been a few months back.

The rest of the team plus Shadow had settled in the living room before I had a chance to catch up with them. Shadow was offered a place on the sofa and he folded his hands contently as I simply planted myself next to him without any thought at all. I was filled with joy as I noted how close we were to one another: mere inches. I fought back a giggle. I suddenly found him to be so charming, more than I found Sonic to be.

Cream soon came in with a cup of tea for Shadow, in which he accepted but merely placed it in front of him. Apparently she didn't hear his refusal at the door for a drink, I thought. I could tell that he didn't want to deny her of anything, nor did he wish to stall for time. The rabbit sat down on the floor near the fireplace to get a full view of Shadow and I next to each other. I could tell she was eyeing us over, smiling at me, as if to say "look at you, Amy, sitting with Shadow!" I forced a smile back at her. Long moments of silence hung over us all. The sound of the clock ticking was the only noise in the room. It was getting uncomfortable to sit in such a looming silence, and someone needed to say something to pull us out, but words were stuck in my throat and wouldn't come out. I was still in aftershock from holding hands.

"So…" Sonic trailed awkwardly. Shadow looked at him. "What brings you here, Shadow?"

I silently thanked above for Sonic to have spoken up; silence had never been so painful. The black hedgehog frowned, staring at the ground. He took another anxious pause before responding.

"I'm unsure of how to start this…but Sonic, I wish for your hospitality."

The comment surprised everyone. I thought even Shadow himself was surprised of how he phrased it. In an instant, everyone began to stutter at the same time. I remained silent, though I had a strong urge to show both shock and happiness. After our little moment, Shadow wanting to live here was like heaven on Earth.

"Shadow…?"

"What?"

"Why?"

Shadow raised his voice above the others'. "Temporarily, at least. Can you comply or do I need to find elsewhere to stay?"

I wanted to say "no, of course you can stay!", but I was still frozen. I had to pray that Sonic would be okay with it. And just then, heads turned to Sonic in response, who barely took a thoughtful pause.

"Don't see why not. You've helped us a lot of times before; you deserve something like this from us."

I relaxed. Sonic was being reasonable tonight. Shadow nodded absentmindedly. He looked as though he wasn't quite satisfied with the answer that he had received from everyone in the room, but I think he sort of expected the reaction. It was a sudden question and appearance from the black hedgehog, after all. Shadow looked as if he wanted to explain more, but he couldn't quite get the words going. Maybe my shyness was contagious.

"Is something wrong, Mr. Shadow?" Cream asked softly. He sighed.

"Just a small personal crisis," he replied, shaking his head. I suddenly found my voice wandering in the warm air.

"Like what?" I asked. My advice-giving therapist personality was starting to show. Shadow didn't bother to look at me. It hurt a little to not see his eyes, but at least he acknowledged my presence with his response. I was counting my blessings.

"I've been offered a job in the military, GUN to be specific. I would be fully compensated for working with them, supplied with living quarters and all, and respected by many. At first it sounded satisfying, but it is just that, nothing more." Shadow explained. I listened intently, analyzing every word. "But…something about it isn't right. I'm just not convinced it's where I belong. So I asked for a month for me to be free of it, and after that time I would give them an answer."

"But they sound like they got ya set up pretty well." Knuckles said, leaning back in his chair and resting his arms on the back of the chair. "You should at least try it out for a month or two and then see what you think. Maybe you'll grow to like it."

Shadow lifted his cup off of the table, feeling its warmth in his hands. He stared into it, looking into his sad reflection. "I don't think you understand. After everything that's happened with GUN, both recently and a while ago, it's hard for me to grab at the opportunity and call it good. They were the exact people who took all the lives on the ARK. I know I swore to put my past behind me, but this seems like I can't look away from it now."

I had to agree, but I didn't know if it was my heart agreeing or my logic. I decided to step out of the debate in fear of saying something stupid.

"Shadow, I hate to oppose you and your moral beliefs, but GUN helps protect humanity." Tails said carefully. "They had to do the same thing fifty years ago on the ARK, but it was for a cause, you know? If you join GUN, you'll still be fulfilling your promise to Maria by protecting the planet."

Shadow closed his eyes, setting the cup back down on the table. It was obvious that he disagreed with Tails and felt pain, but he knew how to control his anger and keep it inside of him. I couldn't stand my neutral person anymore; it was short-lived, but after seeing him like that, I felt like I needed to comfort him. It was still a little bit foreign to feel like that toward Shadow; I had that feeling before around Cream or Sonic, but now I was starting to find myself pushing Sonic completely out of mind. My hand reached out to touch his shoulder. His eyes opened, trailing over to my face. I opened my mouth, ready to say something unknown to her. Sonic beat me to the chance.

"So what you need is a good month to mull this thing over, huh?" he asked. Shadow nodded slowly. "Sounds doable. It won't be that much of a hassle, especially since you can fend for yourself. And hey, even in the month we have together, you'll be a great temporary addition to the team. The more fists to fight off some robots, the better."

Tails and Knuckles perked up at that comment, and Cream's face brightened as well. With Shadow on the team, Eggman wouldn't stand a chance, and all of us knew that. Everyone had their mind set on Shadow staying for a month, throwing away all the past mistakes he had made.

"We have an extra room upstairs next to Amy's, if you can tolerate that." Knuckles scoffed. Shadow said nothing, but forced a smile. My cheeks turned red again as I removed my hand. I stared at the ground, frowning. It hurt when Knuckles put it like that; that night was apparently his night to take out all his pent up aggression on me. It made it sound like I stayed up all night blaring music and keeping the entire house up. Cream shifted her position on the floor. She looked like she was ready to come over to me.

"Care to show me around, then?" Shadow asked after glancing at me. I was hoping that he knew something and wanted to help by getting everyone except Cream out of the picture, but I thought it might have been a stretch. Sonic agreed merrily, jumping up from the sofa. The boys stood up and exited the room, Shadow glancing back at me thoughtfully before leaving. I didn't see it fully, though; my focus was on the floor still but I saw it from the corner of my eye.

Cream stood up after she heard footsteps go up the stairs. She walked over and sat down where Shadow sat, putting her hands on mine. I looked up at the small rabbit.

"What's wrong, Amy?" Cream asked. Her brown eyes were full of concern. She gave me the same pang of sympathy as Shadow did. "You look so…sad."

I forced a smile. "I don't know what's wrong, Cream. As soon as Shadow stepped inside, I felt weird, almost like what I feel like around Sonic, except ten million times better; maybe even more real than I felt around Sonic. It's just really confusing." I lifted a hand, ruffling my bangs as I frowned again. "I'm not sick, either, I swear."

Cream was pensive. "I'm sure you're not, Amy. You were just fine until Mr. Shadow came in. There's one thing that's on my mind, though…you and Shadow…are you…?

I knew what she was getting onto, and because of reflex, I blurted out, "What? No! He and I…" –the concept sunk in further now– "…he and I…I…I don't know…isn't that…weird for me to…?"

The concept of Sonic and I together had melted into my head for so long, it seemed illogical for me to be with anyone else. Sonic was so beyond out of my interest now, but apparently I formed a habit in referring to him as my destined soul mate.

"Oh, Amy, I don't know if it's 'weird'. That's for you to see on your own, isn't it?" Cream smiled, her eyes closing and her brow furrowing. She could sense the conversation was going to involve me speaking aloud to myself. Conversations about affection and romance with Cream usually were like that. She was a good listener, though; she sparked a lot of ideas. I simply shrugged in reply. In this case, I kind of hoped she would reply honestly instead of give her normal neutral answer to me.

"I'm so over Sonic, after all. That's what's making me feel so sad now, but when Shadow came in, I felt a lot better." I trailed off, describing what I had gone through when I dropped the teacup and during my freak-out session. It was refreshing to speak my ideas to Cream. She was such a great friend. Cream and I talked for about a minute before I went silent. I started going off into my own thoughts, which were filled, much to both my surprise and knowledge, with images of Shadow.

"…Shadow and I held hands while you were cleaning up the cup I broke, Cream." I giggled quietly, my cheeks flushing. Cream perked up at my comment, beaming. "And he said that I had a strong grip."

"Except with teacups, Amy." the rabbit giggled as well. After the laughter died down, I hugged myself, looking at out the window as the bright moon rose higher into the sky. My emerald eyes glistened as I stared at the black sky. Memories flooded my vision as I gazed upon the bright stars.

"That one time that I hugged him on the harbor by accident…he was so soft and warm! Gawd, it was embarrassing, but he really was so nice to hold now that I think of it."

Cream beamed, knowing what to make of my pointless, random comments. After looking over her shoulder towards the front hall, Cream leaned in close to me, speaking in a hushed voice. "Amy, you've realized it!"

Whether I was clueless or playing dumb was beyond me. "Realized what…?"

"It's so obvious! Do you think…that you've moved on? Moved on to someone else?"

I stared at her for several seconds, unsure how to take the comment. But as I recalled everything that I had said, everything that I had done that involved Shadow, I felt myself smile. I found myself on the verge of tears now. It was all too much to contain. Sonic was disappearing, Shadow was replacing; I could feel it in my heart. Finally I was reaching the surface of my sadness, and I was breaking out of it.

"Cream…" My eyes watered, and I wiped them dry before continuing. "I feel it happening. It's all so fast, but I think I _have_ moved on…"

Cream squealed and gave me a bear hug, holding tightly and laughing. She was overjoyed that she helped find my problem and we had solved it together. For years, she had known something I hadn't; the fact that I was wasting my precious time in following Sonic around, and once I had realized it, I felt awful. However, the time that the turning point I had been looking for had finally came. I joined into the laughter, embracing her back as I let Sonic, my past love, slip away for good, never to come back into my heart again. The sentence that I whispered joyfully echoed in my head for the rest of the night.

_I'm in love with Shadow the Hedgehog._


	3. The New Canvas

_Uwaah! Thank you all for your favorites and alerts!! Even though I've only gotten one review, I'm still in high spirits, so let's shoot for some comments, ja? :D_

_This chapter isn't very dialogue heavy...I think there's a grand total of seven words spoken in this round. XD A lot of emotions, though! Gotta love those moodswings. Enjoy!_

_-Laz_

* * *

That night, I lay in my bed with anxious feelings of confused and happy romance. I couldn't stop thinking about Shadow. Knowing that he was sleeping in the next room over gave me chills of excitement like I was a child on Christmas Eve night. I wanted to get up and say hello to him and to tell him how much I appreciated that he considered staying with us for a month, but I fought it. It would be unbelievably foolish of me to do that; it would be something that I would do for Sonic.

That was another thing to do for Shadow: never make the same mistakes that I made with Sonic. I vowed to stop being overactive, stop being hyper (especially in Shadow's case; it would turn him away from me for sure,) stop being clingy, and not to obsess over him too much. The last would be a little hard to do. I came to realize that I loved him, so I naturally had waves of love-struck emotions, one of them in which was obsession. I would just tone it down a little, I decided. No proclaiming any marriages, no claiming that I was his girlfriend. I would just try to lower my display of excitement down to however mellow he was. Unfortunately that was really, really mellow. I would have to get over it.

And on top of that – just when I thought things couldn't get more complicated – I had a month to do something about it. I had to decide what to do; tell Shadow or keep it a secret. A month seemed so short, and I had so much to do in so little time. I had to win him and his love over, and I also had to win his presence at the house over. If he and I were supposed to be together, then I couldn't stay home and watch him go off to the military to work. Long distance relationships sent chills down my spine; for some reason the only result I saw in a long distance relationship was heartbreak. I wouldn't allow it to happen to me.

I rolled over and squinted at the clock next to me. 12:43 in the morning, it read. I had been up for nearly three hours merely thinking, and no matter how exhausted I was, I just couldn't fall asleep. Too many thoughts flashed in my head, overwhelming me with suspicions, happiness, and heart-throbs. I began to wonder what he thought of me. Was I just another girl in the world to him? Was I his secret love, or was I a worthless child that he pitied? He was at least kind to me; Shadow showed manners to me and listened to what I had to say previous times I encountered him, however few words we shared. He never tried to hurt me, either. So he had to at least like me a little bit. But for me, liking me a little bit wasn't quite enough. But I didn't want to force him to love me, either. I simply had to hope that his feelings were reflecting of mine.

I sat up. I couldn't stand being in bed any longer with swirling thoughts swimming through my head. Besides, I felt like there was something I had to do before I thought anything more about Shadow the Hedgehog. It was something like a tether, that, once broken, it would free me, once and for all from the past. It would give me a clean slate to work on, a clean canvas to start painting my love for Shadow on. I realized that it was Sonic; he was holding me back. Just like an anchor, weighing me down with mistakes and guilt.

I felt like a pair of eyes was watching me from behind my closet doors. I winced. Secrets were scattered on the inside of those pearly white doors; secrets, I knew, were the very eyes that were giving me strange feelings of heaviness. It was time to get rid of them.

I slid out of bed, turning on the lamp as my feet touched the carpet floor. I hardly winced at the light that now illuminated my room brightly; it was like I was trying to go to sleep in broad daylight to begin with. For a few minutes I stood in the middle of my room, looking around and preparing myself. Throwing away these secrets would take a lot of guts, especially after all those years of loving Sonic, and I hoped it wasn't going to hurt me too much inside. My heart raced as I looked at the closet door. Outside it was plain white, nothing special about it. It stood against the soft pink walls and matched the trim bordering my carpet floor. But inside, there was a magnificent place for me to retreat, to repair my romantically-confused thoughts. Inside, there was something that I never shared with anyone, ever. Cream didn't even know about it.

With a trash bin in hand, I walked quietly to the white doors and opened them slowly. I set the trash can firmly onto the carpet. Sure enough, the inside of the doors held what had always been there: loads and loads of secrets – pictures. Pictures of a blue hedgehog, both from newspaper cut-outs, magazine articles, and just from our own camera covered the doors. Hearts danced around them. The white was barely visible from behind the mass of photos. In my times of rejection from Sonic, I would run up to my room, open these doors and stare at them all, muttering "I love you" over and over again, pretending that he said them back. Each time I found a picture of Sonic, I would cut it out and add it on the door.

But now, I was there looking at them all in a different way. I wasn't about to say "I love you" to them. I never wanted to say it to them again; I hardly ever wanted to see them again. It was heartbreaking and shameful to look at now that I had just moved on. I knelt down on the floor in my rose-colored pajamas, looking at them all, remembering all the times that I had wasted my time chasing after Sonic. I seemed happy back then, too, but I knew that I was never truly happy. I never knew what happiness was. I hoped that my happiness would be true with Shadow's presence.

It was time, I thought as my heart jolted. I snapped my eyes shut, preparing myself one last time.

I reached up and grabbed hold of the top picture by its corners. Sonic was smiling, holding a peace sign to the camera, completely unaware of what I was doing. Before I had time to second-guess myself, my ears were met with the shredding and groaning of paper. I quickly let the picture go, feeling power rise up as I did so. I felt like I was rising high above everything as I saw it drop it to the ground. The edges were now curled up, Sonic smirking at the ceiling. I gazed down upon it, frowning at it. I felt guilty but I knew it was time to let him go.

I went at the one below it. A grayscale Sonic waving at the sky from the top of a crushed robot. The rip was more satisfying than the first. The one to the right of it was my next victim; a blue blur, running past the camera in an unidentifiable setting, now dashing on the soft floor. I could feel the fibers separate as I pulled it off the door. I shook as I took hold of the next one, closing my eyes. He was standing above Tails, Knuckles, Cream, and I. I watched that one fall to the ground like a leaf from a tree.

And so it went. I tore all of them down, and soon I didn't even look at the pictures. I didn't care about Sonic's feelings toward me anymore to the extent that I didn't want to see his face at the time. The pictures fell from the doors, rip by rip, tear by tear. When everything was done, the white could be seen so clearly, it almost looked blinding. I scooted backward and leaned my back against the foot of my bed to look at my work. I hugged my knees as a mixture of feelings welled up within me. All of the pictures were gone, but strangely, I felt invigorated. I felt like I was finally in control.

But I kept one close to me, though. It was a photo of Shadow and Sonic taken after they had defeated one of Dr. Eggman's, our archenemy's, fleet of robots. Shadow stood with quiet glory and pride of his work; I remembered that fight clearly like it was the day before. He came out of nowhere, just when we felt like we were overwhelmed. Shadow threw down about fifty robots in one huge explosion, which caused a huge tremor. Everyone in the neighboring city started panicking. It attracted the news station, and they arrived just as we finished off the last robot. Sonic had pleaded Shadow to stay where he was, being a good sport towards the black hedgehog, and Shadow did so (though he didn't like it) as Sonic climbed up the mound of broken metal bodies. He posed in a way that, compared to Shadow, was the main hero of the day. I felt like Sonic ruined the picture, but Shadow made me hesitate to shred it up like I did the rest.

I took hold of it, covering up Sonic's face with my thumb. I stared into Shadow's sincere eyes. His handsome face was so intoxicating that my heart raced when I was looking at it, and it was just a photograph. I touched the paper. If only he was really sitting next to me, watching me get rid of all my Sonic pictures. I felt like he would be proud of me somehow. I wondered if he thought I had wasted my time while chasing Sonic. I really hoped that Shadow didn't rule me out when it came to companionship, let alone romance. I was different now.

I got up and went over to my desk to get a pair of scissors. In one snip, Sonic's half flew to the floor, landing face-down. I held Shadow's side with a carefully steady grip. He stared into my eyes, jumpstarting my wild imagination and made me dream of him gazing passionately at me. I broke out of it, facing reality now. Shaking my head, I admitted that I was becoming more of a mess by the second. I really wished that Shadow would one day fulfill that dream for me because he wanted to, not because I asked him to. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard.

My eyes wandered to my mirror on my vanity to my left. My pink quills were tangled into a mess, but the other thing that I noticed was that my cheeks were red. They weren't red out of embarrassment or love-sickness, though. I stepped closer to the mirror, realizing that my eyes were red and watery. They stung, too. My cheeks felt stiff; I had been crying all this time and didn't even know it. Hopefully I didn't make it too much of a racket, I thought, I could cry really loudly sometimes.

I stared back down to Shadow's picture. My eyes started drooping all of a sudden, and I felt a heavy feeling of exhaustion. It was probably one in the morning now – way past my bedtime. I tip-toed back to my closet, dumped the torn pictures into the trash can and returned it to its original spot next to my desk. When I went back to my closet, I knelt down on the carpet again and hung Shadow's picture on the door with a pink heart. His grayscale figure looked both real and fake to me. It would have been better if it was in color, showing off his red and black coloring.

Still, it looked nice against the blank white wood. He would stay in there, protecting me from anything that tried to get me in my room when I was asleep. I shut the closet doors and stood up. The job was done. Step one was complete, and I knew I had a lot of steps ahead of me in order to win Shadow over in a month. I turned out the light and got back into my bed, pulling the covers up to my shoulders. The warmth engulfed me and brought my eyelids down like anchors.

"This isn't a phase. I know it…" I whispered to myself as my eyes closed, "…Shadow's the one."


	4. Trying

_More emotions commence here, too...and our first Shadow-Amy confrontation since chapter one!! _

_I forgot to mention that this story is completely and totally finished, which is why I'm posting so fast...and there are 10 chapters total--I finally counted. XD I'm glad you're liking this!! It makes my writing worthwhile to hear your comments and see your favorites and alerts!_

_-Laz_

* * *

Dishes clattered from downstairs. Already morning, I thought tiredly. I regretted staying up so long as I grumbled unidentifiable words to myself; I was beyond tired. I assumed that my unconscious crying had something to do with it, too; it was emotionally exhausting and usually made me crash after I bawled hard like I did. I was infamous for my aftereffects of crying in the house, after all. Rolling over, I heaved a tired sigh as I tried to regain a few more hours of sleep. But unfortunately for me, since I was already awake, my head wanted to keep it that way; my brain was just wired like that. I opened my eyes, squinting at the clock as my vision started to clear up. 9:06.

I stretched and rubbed my eyes. I was still tired from the night before, and I actually felt like I was dreaming the whole thing up about tearing down the pictures from the inside of my closet. Maybe it was, I thought. Out of curiosity, I got out of my warm mass of sheets, and, bracing myself, I opened my closet doors. Sure enough, there was the one picture of Shadow, hanging near my head. I gulped. Was I really that crazy to tear all the pictures up, leaving nothing behind but white? I corrected myself. I wasn't crazy; I was determined, for lack of better word. I was ready to move on, and this was the result of it all.

I moved my mind past it. What was done was done. Step one was over with and I couldn't change it. I snatched a red dress from a hanger and slipped into it, fastening on my matching boots. But before I shut the door, I brought my eyes to the grayscale picture of Shadow. He was standing with that quiet pride and courage, just as I had left him. I touched the paper gently, pretending like he was really there in front of me. It made me genuinely smile, something I assumed I hadn't done in a very long time.

After closing the door slowly and quietly, I dashed out of my room, being sure that I shut the door that morning. I still had to get rid of the trash full of scrapped pictures I had without anyone knowing. But as I latched it, I glanced at the door to my left: Shadow's door. It was wide open. He was gone from his room, probably downstairs with everyone else. Now my interest was at its peak; what was his room like? I knew it was a guest room, but did he do anything different in it? I didn't see him bring any bags or anything inside the night before, but I still wanted to see what was in there. I glanced over my shoulder. No one was at the stairs. All the other doors were open, including Cream's. To my knowledge, the entire house was up and downstairs; it was just me now.

I dared every little bit of dignity I had left in me and walked in the room. My senses heightened, my ears twitching at every faint voice I heard from the floor below me. I swallowed as I gazed around intently in his room. White walls, beige carpet, and a bed. Surprisingly enough, the bed was made, the sheets crisp with hardly a wrinkle in sight. They were white, I thought at first, so why would Shadow have the guts to even touch them? I was thinking too much about it, I thought. It wasn't like he was allergic to the color white. In fact, maybe white was his favorite color. I scolded myself for thinking about that. I was losing it.

All in all, there was nothing different about it; just the same old guest room that was always empty, waiting for someone to come live in it. I actually thought of my closet doors when I walked in the first time; it was a blank canvas, ready to start a new life. The size was nice, cozy and spacious at the same time. I envisioned black walls instead of white, a black bed, and red covers. It would suit Shadow so well. I just had to get him to stay and everything would be smooth. The best thing was, he was next to _my_ room. It was like I was next to my late parents' bedroom that was always there if I had a nightmare. I would run in and hug them, telling them all about it and holding them tight until I felt better. Maybe Shadow would tolerate the same thing.

I quickly got out of his room, dashing down the stairs. The sounds of clattering and talking became louder as I came to the last step; sure enough, everyone was in the kitchen. And even though I couldn't hear Shadow's voice, I could somehow just tell he was there. I stopped myself and adjusted my dress before coming into sight of everyone. I stroked my fingers through my quills and heaved a sigh. Just act causal, I told myself. I ran through everything I thought of the night before: stop being hyper, stop being clingy, and stop being overactive about everything. Just…relax. That was the word. Relax. The mere sound of that word in my head made me ease up. As I made my way into the kitchen, my relaxation suddenly stopped unconsciously. I found my hands clinging to the skirt of my dress and my focus to be on the wood floor, away from any wandering eyes of any sort.

"Hey, there she is!" I heard Sonic laugh. It struck me like lightning and made me twitch. "Mornin', Ames. Did you sleep well?"

I brought up my head and booted myself back into reality. Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles were standing around the table, but Cream was nowhere to be in sight. I suddenly remembered that she was supposed to go to her mother's house today for a visit, and my clumsy oversleeping made me miss her go. She would be back after dinner, though, but I felt a guilty ache nag at my heart. I could only hope she would forgive me. It would be hard to face her and explain what the cause of my tardiness was; my sheer romantic desires.

And speaking of which, the perfect black hedgehog sat in a chair, relaxed to the point that it looked like he had sat there for a week. I swallowed at the sight of him there. He looked a lot better than in the picture from last night. I expected that, but I couldn't keep myself from comparing him to that picture. His attention at me made me feel like I was on a stage, ready to sing my heart out to a huge crowd. But suddenly, his face turned doubtful, like he was expecting something out of me.

"Ames?" Sonic asked, calling me by my nickname again. I blinked, snapping out of it yet again. I rubbed my eyes, half acting and half wanting to take my eyes off of Shadow for more than ten seconds.

"Oh, yeah, sorry! Geez, I'm tired, I swear…I didn't miss anything, did I?" It was best to move the subject of sleep or anything about last night out of the way. I wasn't quite convinced yet that everyone slept soundly with me making noise last night.

"You missed Cream leaving, but we took care of it. We got up about an hour ago to find Shadow here up already," Sonic explained. I was almost surprised that he was up earlier than everyone else. "How long have you been up again, Shad?"

"Five." His low voice muttered loud enough for me to hear. His eyes moved gently to the side, narrowing like it was no big deal to him. I was shocked.

"R-really?!" I exclaimed. "Why so early?!" This could be my chance, I thought, for a legitimate conversation with him to move me up a level.

In a blink, Shadow's eyes returned to me. "I don't need to sleep as much as you."

His narrowed eyes remained the same directed at me. I shrunk, feeling insignificant. I must have come off as way too hyper; I should have known not to say anything. It felt like whenever I opened my mouth, I lowered my chances with him.

"…Oh, well…whatever suits you is okay with me!" I could feel my cheeks redden. I knew he didn't need to sleep somewhere in the back of my head; he was the Ultimate Life Form. He didn't need to drink, eat, or sleep, but he sometimes slept just for kicks. He was basically perfect, no exaggeration.

Sonic clasped his hands together and stretched his arms out in front of him. "Well, Ames, hate to cut things short with ya, but we were just all getting ready to go out to get some fresh air. You wanna join?"

I decided to play it safe. I needed to recover, and if Shadow was there, I determined that it wouldn't be ideal for me to be there.

"No, I'm alright. You guys go ahead without me." I smiled at him. I could tell Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails were at a loss for words because I would have always jumped at a chance to follow Sonic around. Today was different, I wanted to tell them; I only like Sonic as a friend. Nonetheless, they didn't want to ask me again, and Sonic bid his farewell to me and walked out the dining room along with the other two.

As everyone exited the kitchen, Shadow remained in the seat at the table. I panicked, watching him closely as he saw the three out the door. Why wasn't he going after them? Sonic acted like all four of them were going out. I turned around, not daring to make eye-contact with him. He would have started a conversation if he saw me watching him, and I was much too shy yet to talk to him. I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, convinced that I was home-free. I would just casually get some orange juice to drink and go upstairs to my room, safe from any contact for now. Cream would show up this afternoon and I would tell her that I needed help with this whole thing. Then she'd nod and smile and give me some great, perfect advice that was suitable for me to act on at this point, and I would thank her and bring her out to get ice cream and discuss it further. It would all be according to the perfect plan.

"You must have been pretty angry last night."

Or not.

"Huh?"

I winced behind the door, scanning my head for something to say or something to do. I had to be calm and just slyly talk my way out of this. I closed the fridge without my orange juice, choosing to accept my fate of talking to him. I turned my head, hoping that my cheeks weren't flushed just by hearing his low, savory voice. Shadow's head was turned towards me now. It made me feel like I was standing on a cloud. He could have easily got up and chose not to talk to me. But here he was, patient as ever and giving me a chance to make up for the points I had lost before. Unfortunately it was the wrong kind of opportunity for me. It was more of a scolding from a parent than a romantic conversation.

"I heard you tearing something up around one last night." He spoke with the harsh honesty that I knew him for.

I gasped. I did wake someone up, and of course, it wasn't Sonic or Cream or anyone who would've forgotten about it or assumed they were imagining it; it had to be Shadow. Of all people! I screamed a prayer of mercy in my head. I was helpless. What to say; what to do? Should I lie or should I fess up and tell the truth? "Yes, Shadow, I was getting rid of my Sonic shrine and starting one for you", I would say. Ridiculous; I couldn't do it now. Instead I just stared at his calm face. He waited for me to answer. After what seemed like hours, I stammered one out.

"I…was…?" I lied, playing dumb. It probably wasn't the best choice to do.

"Hm. Were you sleepwalking?" Shadow asked. I could tell by his doubtful expression that he knew I was lying. I felt like falling to my knees, but I stood my ground.

"I don't know…gosh, I'm sorry I woke you up…"

Shadow merely stared at me for the longest time. For a brief moment, I thought that he was going to stand up and slap me because of how bad a liar I was. It was just the shine in his eyes that freaked me out a little bit. Instead, he sighed and stood from his chair, starting out of the kitchen.

"Wait!!" I suddenly heard myself yelp. I was surprised at my own voice and had the urge to slam my head into a wall. He stopped and looked up at me, he, too, surprised. I folded my hands as he backed up to face me. I had put myself in a weird place, and now that I was here, I better do something to make up for it. "I…did tear something up last night. Sorry."

The truth was not something I wanted to use as something to make up for my clumsiness! I was in such a mess now. Shadow looked me over with his gorgeous red eyes.

"It's alright, I was just curious." Shadow simply said. I dropped my head, hiding my burning-hot face from him. Seconds seemed like minutes. "What were you destroying up there, anyway?"

I swallowed. What now? I couldn't tell him anything else; I had to promise myself that and I wouldn't let it down. Not yet, at least. It was way too early to declare anything.

"I…I can't tell you, I'm sorry. It's hard to explain." I said. I felt awful for saying it – I so wanted to tell him the truth. He would've appreciated me telling the truth but the actual fact would have been too risky to tell him now. "I really am sorry, though. For waking you up. Really."

Shadow eyed my face blankly. I stood perfectly still as his eyes scanned my sad, sorry, pathetic face, praying that he would forgive me and be okay with me there. I wanted him to smile, say that everything was cool, and invite me to go someplace that night. Even a little forgiveness and a wink would've been okay. But instead, he nodded once and simply walked out of the kitchen without another word. It shattered me with disappointment. I could feel tears behind my eyes as I heard the front door slam. It was like a slap of rejection to my face, just like I had received countless times. Now I was alone, I thought.

There went a perfectly good opportunity to prove myself worthy of his companionship.


	5. Connecting Mind with Heart

_Gah! I'm so sorry I didn't update last night...schoolwork and I felt a sore throat coming on last evening so I couldn't manage to post. __It will be made up for, though, I promise. XD_

_This is one of the more rough chapters I dealt with...probably THIS one is my least favorite. -slumps- But I do hope you continue to read and enjoy; most of you seem to really love it! XD;;_

_-Laz_

* * *

I spent the rest of the afternoon in my room. I managed to talk myself out of bawling my eyes out over Shadow's reaction to me; it probably didn't mean much to him, after all. He probably wouldn't think anything of it afterwards. I counted my blessings; he didn't scoff at me and call me stupid or anything; he asked me a simple question, I answered it, and he gave his response, and that was it. So it could have been considered a legitimate conversation – he indeed did talkto me, so I could raise my existence to him a significant level. But despite the good feelings I gained, I refused to come out of my room. I felt like there was still something I should have been wary of; I needed recovery time before I saw Shadow again.

Every once in a while, I would remember Cream and cringe as I thought about her waiting for me. I hoped that she wouldn't be angry with me for sleeping in and missing her departure, but then again, what could I do? It wasn't like she was leaving our house for good. She would come back that evening.

And after dinner, she did. I had stayed in my seat while everyone left strictly because I had not even finished my food yet. I couldn't bear to think of Cream or Shadow now; both of them had me worried for so many reasons. It felt like I had eaten all my thoughts, leaving no room for food.

The front door creaked open and her small, petite footsteps made their way into the front hall. My ears perked; I heard her sweet voice calling out her arrival, and instantly guilt smacked me in my face. Several voices from upstairs greeted her back. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. What was I to expect from her? Was she angry? Okay? Would she ignore me? It was my fault for making her leave alone. I was too stupid and caught up in my own romantic dreams than to remember my best friend's need for me. I felt like a greedy, selfish brat.

When Cream walked into the kitchen, my face apparently showed my anxiety, because her cheerful disposition turned into concern when she looked at me. The air felt heavier, as did my heart and fork. My hands shook, and to hide it, I placed my fork down and folded my hands in my lap. Her bag was flopped onto the floor, but I didn't look up. Cream pulled a chair out and sat down in front of me. Seconds ticked by before either of us said anything. I finally dropped my head and stared at my plate. I could barely look at her anymore because I couldn't understand why she was so quiet.

"Are you alright, Amy? You're the last one here…" Cream trailed off, examining the remains of my food on my plate. That was what she had said, putting sympathy and concern into every syllable, but her words were empty. Her mind was focused on something else. She was a good actress for her age.

"Cream, I'm so sorry for this morning." I snapped my eyes shut. "Like, you have no idea how bad I feel right now."

Cream stayed silent. I pictured her long ears drooping, her eyes turning sad with a frown upon her face. The thought made me want to cry. But suddenly, I heard her giggle.

"Amy, is that what you're worried about?" she replied. I looked up at her. She was smiling, close to laughing. I was shocked. "It's okay you missed me. Mother thought it was silly. And besides, I'm getting older, Amy; soon I won't need you to even bother saying goodbye to me before I leave!"

She had stable points, yes, but I still wasn't convinced. I looked to the side, still avoiding eye contact with the young rabbit. She sighed after giggling, finally seeing my gloominess. Cream frowned at me, scanning me for hints as to what was bugging me still.

"Really, Amy, it's alright…" Cream continued in all seriousness. "I mean, people make mistakes. It wasn't like I was leaving forever and you didn't say goodbye."

I shifted my gaze at her. Her big brown eyes were filled to the brim with pity. "If you're sure…" I trailed off as the problem concerning her was replaced with the problem concerning Shadow.

"Absolutely. Don't worry too much over it."

Silence loomed over both of us after that. It made Cream uncomfortable; she shifted in her seat several times. I felt awful for making her feel that way, but I felt like I couldn't do anything about it. I had too many things to think about. I began to question whether all of the effort and emotions involving love were worth my time; if it meant making the people around me worry about me, I wondered if love was even worth my time. But I really wanted Shadow by my side, too. I was completely confused.

"Amy…? What's wrong, really?"

I brought my head up guiltily. She was on to me, too, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I felt like Shadow's silence was contagious. She leaned over the table. For a moment, I thought she was going to knock on my head to get me back to reality.

"Is it about Mr. Shadow?" Cream asked quietly. I jumped at the name, my face erupting in red.

"W-what?! N-no! It's not about him! Why would you think that?!" I exclaimed, unaware as to how loud I was. Cream smiled at me, fighting laughter; she and I both knew I was lying. I switched the subject to cover it up. "A-anyways, Cream, what did you do at your mom's house today?"

"Amy…" she sighed, ignoring my attempt at changing subjects. "It's okay if you're thinking about him. But what I want to know is why you're acting sad when you think about him; with Mr. Sonic, you at least _looked_ happy when you thought about him. But now you're so sad all the time…"

Cream was more than right. I did seem like I was sad whenever I thought about Shadow; in fact, that was probably the reason why he acted the way he did that morning. Perhaps when he saw me deep in thought, I looked depressed, and wondered what was wrong, and when I gave him the honest answer, he didn't know how to take it.

"You're right, Cream. I'm sorry…" I trailed off. "I guess I don't know what to do."

"Maybe you should eat." She pointed to my plate. I smiled and took a bite of my food. "All of it, I mean. I don't want your health to suffer from this, too, Amy; so if you eat, I'll help find a solution to your problem."

Being raised in a household where clearing your plate was of the utmost importance, Cream was definitely one that knew how to bribe. I felt like a little kid when I agreed to the deal, but while I ate, she shot off suggestions for the reasoning behind my sadness when I thought of the black hedgehog. Though all of them weren't the kind of things I thought were logical in my situation, I appreciated her company and assistance. Some of the explanations were stress out of shortness of time, aftershocks of Sonic's rejection to me, and the fact that Shadow himself was a sad guy, and thus thinking about a sad guy made me sad. Together, they made sense, but it didn't satisfy me. But finally, as I drank the last few sips of my tea, she had an "eureka" moment.

"What if your heart and mind are conflicting, Amy?" she asked. I set my glass down doubtfully. She continued, "I mean, what if your heart wants Mr. Shadow, but your mind is still confused as to who to chase? You've been after Sonic for years now, setting your head into auto-pilot and making yourself go after him, whether your heart wants to or not. And now that your heart wants Shadow, your head doesn't know what it should do."

It suddenly made sense. I thought it through, musing on every possibility, and nodded in response to her. She smiled. There was one little problem, though.

"How do I make my mind follow my heart?"

Judging by the stunned facial expression, Cream had no idea what to say. Neither did I. The only things that came out of her mouth were stammers, and then she fell silent, bringing her hand up to her chin pensively. I swallowed as I watched her for a few seconds, then I forced laughter.

"Ha, ha, look at me, I'm so philosophical about this stuff, Cream! I'm so crazy…" I trailed off, sighing. "Just forget about it. I'll think of –"

"Amy, I got it!" Cream snapped her fingers. She leaned over the table again. "All you have to do is spend more time with Shadow."

It was like the sun was thrown on top of me. I could feel my cheeks redden, and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. The name was enough to launch me into a spiral of embarrassment, but the context of the sentence seemed to echo for an eternity before I could stutter anything out.

"W-W-WHAT?!?!?" I yelped. Cream almost threw herself over the table when she clasped a hand over my mouth.

"Shh! Someone might hear!!" Cream whispered harshly. "But Amy, think about it! If you force your mind into concentrating on the only thing next to you, Mr. Shadow, for example, then your mind will slowly realize what's going on. That way, your heart will enjoy itself with Mr. Shadow and your mind will be on the mend!"

My eyes spoke for my voice at her; wide and frightened. I couldn't possibly achieve the task of getting close to Shadow and not explode with excitement or make an embarrassment of myself at the same time. I could barely talk to him without sounding like an idiot. Having said that, doing such a task on a regular basis would be exceedingly impossible for someone like me. If I tried, it would only end in inevitable pain.

"I can't do it, Cream! I can't!" I whispered after breaking free from her grasp. I was on the verge of tears. I was scared that Shadow wouldn't allow me around him so much, or if he would think that me being around him soften was creepy; there were so many risks in doing what she was telling me to do.

"Amy, I know you can if you try hard enough…"

"But if he doesn't want me there…I'll have to deal with rejection again…and Sonic…he'll be just like Sonic…!" I was crying now, hot tears pouring from my eyes. I could only think of all those times Sonic had rejected me, rolled his eyes, or just ran away from me like it was some sort of game. I didn't want to see Shadow like that. I never wanted to see anyone be like that to me ever again.

Cream reached out to me, offering her sympathy, but I simply stood up, refusing it abruptly. I turned and dashed out of the kitchen, heading for my room. My eyes were shut tightly behind my hands shielding them from any unwanted attention. I didn't care if anyone was watching me; I wanted to get away from the pain that I had inflicted on myself. It wasn't Cream's fault that I was sad; it was my own. If I had never chased Sonic day after day, I would have never been sad like the way I was.

In an instant, I collided with something, nearly sending it crashing to the ground. Luckily, it was sturdy, but not only that, it grabbed my shoulders. I was startled and confused, my tears coming to an abrupt halt that caught me off guard; nothing except time could stop my crying when I was in a state like I was in. I brought my hands down and my eyes up to see a pair of crimson eyes staring down at me. It was Shadow.

I thought I would have started bawling my eyes out in front of him again, or at least felt like my heart was being torn out, but the way he looked at me gave me ease. Something about his posture, his face, and just he himself made me feel hopeful. It was as if he knew what I was worrying about and fought them off. Though I couldn't smile through my tears, I was filled to the brim with joy that he showed up. I wanted to hug him but my limbs were so heavy from embarrassment. I knew my face was red, too. I had to get away from him before I lost control of myself, but I couldn't motivate myself.

"Amy, are you alright?" he asked in his normal monotone voice. To me, though, it sounded sweeter than normal; I had never heard him say such a thing to me. It warmed my heart and my face. My sadness vanished into thin air. I simply nodded, smiling slightly. "Good…um, pardon me…"

With that, he let me go, sliding by me and walking down the hallway towards the kitchen. I saw Cream smile at him casually. I was stunned; my worries felt like they weighed a million tons but as soon as he came into contact with me, I felt weightless, like I had wings on my back. Cream ran towards me, arms outstretched. She hugged me tightly, and for a moment or two, I thought she was crying, too.

"Amy, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry!! Forgive me!" Cream apologized repeatedly. I said nothing, only making a sound of agreement. By the time she looked up at me, I had a smile imprinted on my face. My tears were dried up as I gazed after the black hedgehog. Perhaps, I thought, it wouldn't be so hard being around him.


	6. So Close

Later that night, I emerged from my room cautiously, craving something to drink from the kitchen. After changing into our pajamas, Cream and I met in my room and focused in on the task ahead. We had talked a lot in the past hour about my next move on Shadow; both of us had several things to say and many ideas to toss out but even after a full hour, we hadn't figured out what I was to do. We decided to sleep on it and continue our conversation in the morning. Needless to say, the conversation was long, tiring, and tough to endure, and my thirst had been nagging at me since Cream left to go to bed; so I decided that to sneak out of my room while everyone was settling down in their rooms.

I crept down the stairs as quietly as I could, trying to hush every step I made to be as quieter than a mouse. I was highly aware of my weak clumsy body now that I was under a lot of stress, but when I reached the last step, I noticed the kitchen light was on. My knees quivered and I had to cling onto the rail before letting myself step onto the tile of the front hall. Who, I thought, could be up at this time of night? It was nearly ten at night and everyone in the house was usually sleeping at that time.

I turned the corner and entered the kitchen hesitantly, looking around before moving forward. The dining room remained untouched: chairs around the table were empty as normal and the table was clean. From as far as I could have seen, everything was left right where it was and the only difference was that the lights were on. I felt myself relax; there was nothing to worry about after all. Heaving a relieved sigh, I went towards the sink to get a cup and fill it with water, but as soon as I took a few steps, I suddenly felt a surge of insecurity. There was something wrong.

In a flash, I crashed into something, nearly sending me to the wooden floor. I waved my arms around, desperately trying to retrieve my balance as I stumbled backwards into the counter behind me. Verging on anger, I looked up to see what I had hit, and my eyes widened as I beheld a black hedgehog. Shadow was standing in front of me, impatience seeping out all around him; it had been a mistake to run into him, I was sure of it. My heart jittered; so there was someone still in the kitchen, but I was too stupid to realize it! I stammered out unidentifiable words like before, but this time, I was somehow able to get a grip on myself faster.

"Shadow…I'm sorry…!" I swallowed, my stomach tossing and turning. I felt like I was about to faint; my eyes couldn't stop looking his perfectly sculpted body over. I guessed I was nearly dehydrated by then; my mouth could barely open again.

His red eyes stared at me for the longest time, much to my dismay. Shadow had a way with intimidation; it must have run through the family, I thought. That was the second time he had looked at me in such a way and I felt an urge to ask just what on Earth he was doing. To make matters worse, I was in my light rose pajamas, and though they were just standard nightwear, I felt like I stood out to him. I glanced down at my clothing to be sure they were fastened on correctly. Long sleeves to cover my arms, pants to cover my legs; everything was just normal. I returned my gaze to Shadow's eyes, only to find them closed and his head turned away from me. Perhaps he could read minds as well.

"Twice in one night? You need to watch where you're going." Shadow scoffed. I winced. "What are you doing down here so late?" Shadow asked, preparing himself to exit coolly out the kitchen. I perked up, and without any thought going into my words, I spat out words like air.

"I was getting a glass of water," I replied quickly. I wondered if Shadow could even understand my blended words.

He nodded, muttering a 'goodnight' to me on his way out and raising a hand to me. I suddenly realized how fast he was getting away. Cream's words flooded back to me: spend more time with him and your mind will start working again. Spending time with him meant that I first was to establish an interest in doing so, and doing it in private was probably my best bet. If I let him escape now, I might never find another chance to ask him.

"Shadow! Wait a sec!" I yelled. Shadow turned around, looking at me with a confused expression painted on his face. I exhaled, beckoning him to come over to me nervously. It would be a better idea to ask him quietly than to shout it across the house. He walked toward me, leaning against the counter with one arm, looking at me with his red eyes again. I closed mine, collecting myself.

Just ask him, I chanted in my mind. Remember the promises you made yourself, too: don't be clingy, don't proclaim marriages, etc., etc., etc. – I knew all of those things perfectly, but I didn't know how to convey an interest to ask him to spend time with me without sounding like a fan-girl. I spent too much time with Sonic asking for dates and dumb stuff like that, and so it seemed like a bad habit for me to ask someone for their time. I felt trapped now; inevitable failure was looming over my head. I was running out of time before he lost interest. Please be patient, I prayed.

"Amy?" he asked. He was patient to a degree. I had to hurry up, and before I could think anymore, my mouth opened.

"I…wanted to know if you would…" I opened my eyes and looked up at him. The sight of his face threw my head for a whirl and I forgot what I was saying for a few moments. I tried regaining myself quickly like I had, but it was harder now. We seemed so close to each other.

I tried again. "Shadow, I wanted to ask you if you would be interested in…" My brain disconnected with my voice again. I couldn't tell him the second half of my sentence, and it was the most vital part, too. I dug my face in my hands, moaning softly out of distress. Suddenly my hands were pulled off of my face, my eyes exposed to Shadow.

"You were wondering if I would be interested in…?" he urged, offering help to me. Ohmygawd, I thought. He wouldn't do that to any normal girl, for sure. I melted after he let my wrists fall down to my side, still watching me carefully.

The only way for me to do this was to not look at him when I talked, but wouldn't that be insincere of me? Was that too forced or too desperate? I had to find another route before he left me in the kitchen speechless, and I had to do it fast. It was too clear that I was thinking my words over, and I felt my face turn a shade of red.

"Amy, what is it?" Shadow said like a displeased parent. I swallowed, waving my hands and covering my mouth.

"Um…I really think we should…" I trailed off, forming the words with my mouth. Shadow was growing impatient."…hang out sometime…?"

The words flew out of me so fast that I had barely recognized that I made a sound. Shadow stayed silent. The clock from the living room counted the painful seconds with its venomous ticking; I wanted to make it stop. Slowly, I brought my head up at him to see his reaction. His eyes stared into mine, reading me carefully until they finally darted a glance to his side.

"'Hang out'? With you?"

The question stabbed me like a knife, and though I wanted to retreat and void the comment, I knew that I had to confront him sooner or later. I had to stand my ground, just like he always had. Perhaps that was impressive to him.

"Y-yeah…like…bonding time, you know?"

His brow raised out of doubt: wrong move.

"I-I mean, uh, friendship kind of bonding! You know, because you and I haven't seen each other in such a long time and when we do see each other, we only say a few words." I began to ramble, unfortunately for both Shadow and myself. "Not that we've seen each other a lot to talk about things, but that one time on the ARK, and when the aliens were here…" – he made an expression of disdain, so I backed out of that topic – "but I mean, you don't know a lot about me, and I don't know a lot about you, so maybe we could get together sometime and catch up on each other and…"

His annoyed, blank stare triggered me to stop.

"…Yeah." I sighed silently. "So, is that okay? Because if it's not, then that's fine, but I really wanted to talk to you and stuff."

I folded my hands and forced myself to stop talking. He made a noise of thought, and I snapped my eyes shut, nearly sweating, praying to whatever great power of love there was that Shadow would say yes. Unfortunately he took his sweet time in thinking about it, which gave me the most tension I had felt in a very long time. Finally he adjusted his position, sighing.

"Normally I'm not one for 'bonding time', Amy, but I'll think about it." His response made my spirits brighten to a whole new degree. I felt like hugging him. "However, if and only if I agree, you must promise me you won't cling to me like you do Sonic. It will not be a date. I expect this to be exactly what you said it would be: strictly catching up on things. Goodnight."

With that, he turned his back to me and walked straight forward, emerging into the darkness of the hallway. I watched him leave in his slow, pensive manner and still stared into the blackness even after he went upstairs. I stood in the kitchen frozen for several minutes, absorbing everything he said and not daring to make a move. Finally, I whirled around to the sink, feeling sick to my stomach as I grabbed a glass and filled it with water. I gulped it down, hoping the nausea would subside.

I stared up at the moon through the window. He was serious about his intentions just as was I about mine. My little way of convincing him to agree may have led me into a pitfall; he was expecting so much out of me, to live up to what I said about 'catching up' on each other, when really I wanted to get to know him better. I fluffed my pink bangs, overwhelmed with anxiety and fear, as well as excitement and joy. If this was true love felt like, it almost didn't seem worth the time.

My stomach still felt sick. Perhaps it was because Shadow sparked a memory of my clinginess to Sonic; to know that Shadow still saw me as a rabid fan of Sonic still made me heartbroken. I had so much more in my mind other than Sonic. I was tired of him, anyway; and maybe it was time to tell Shadow about it. I saw it to be more beneficial to have him suspect me of loving Shadow than thinking I was still hooked on Sonic, after all, and maybe he would grow to like me more if I set him straight.

Nonetheless, I went to up bed shamefully, kicking myself for, once again, being a clumsy idiot around him. Everything embarrassing just had to happen in front of him – and it was only day two of his stay. To think what would happen after that day made me dizzy. I would be a mess by the time it was done. I fell into a death-like sleep, tired from the day's chaos and havoc, and for the first time since Shadow came to the house, I wished I would never wake up from it.


	7. The Stars' Gaze

_Oh man, we are so close to the end! Defintely some tense moments for Amy...and what of Shadow? Well, we'll see..._

_Hope you all enjoy!_

_-Laz_

* * *

"Amy?" A hushed voice asked. It was a whisper, barely perceivable in my sleep-drowned ears, but it was enough to stir me from my slumber. I rolled over and glanced at the clock. It was a little past two in the morning.

"Wha…? Who is it…?" I mumbled tiredly. I rubbed my eyes. I never really liked it when people woke me up. I was always cranky when someone interrupted my sleep, and thus no one dared to wake me up unless it was an emergency.

"Shadow." The voice said. I gasped. Shadow! It changed everything. I would never be mad at him. But what did he want? "Are you awake?"

"Yeah, of course." I said sweetly, pouring on as much sugar as I could on the sentence so it sounded like honey. I hoped that he wasn't leaving early. Anything but that, I prayed. "W-what's going on?"

He didn't say anything. For a while, I thought Shadow had fallen asleep in the darkness. My eyes were trying to adjust to the lack of light as I squinted to see what he was doing. Was he listening to something or watching something? I grew tense at the situation, suddenly realizing that my hair had probably been a total mess. I reached up and stroked my pink quills down. But even after doing that, it was so silent you could've heard a pin drop.

"Sha –"

"I want to show you something." He interrupted me halfway through his name. I finally was adjusted to the blackness and I was able to see his silhouette against my white door. I was at the peak of curiosity when he crossed his arms. "And…it's outside. Follow me."

I hopped out of bed without any hesitation. I suddenly didn't feel tired at all, especially when it was just he and I alone. He turned and began walking out of my room before I could make it two steps from my bed. I took my time to make sure my footing was stable so I wouldn't trip and make a fool of myself, but when I exited my room, I found that he stood before the door to his room. His black figure leaned against the doorframe, making the surrounding air look blue from the night sky. At first, I didn't know what to expect. I thought that he was going to go in by himself to get something, but then he suddenly opened the door and waited for me to get closer. I took a little too long in comprehending this, and he impatiently grabbed my hand, pulling me through the entryway.

His grip, I felt, was warm and tight; it sent my heart up in the heavens and my cheeks grew hotter and hotter by the second. It grew harder to move my feet off the ground, so he had to partially drag me through the door. But I did manage to squeeze his hand back; an unfortunate mistake, for soon afterward I felt his grip loosen. I instantly regretted my action; perhaps I was being a little too fast with him and was turning him off.

When I entered his room, it was the same room as I had seen one day ago; white walls, white bed, white closet. It was still the blank canvas I saw and felt just like. Much like that room, I felt like I was at a new beginning. But since he was there with me, I felt out of place once I stepped in. Shadow was the type to seclude himself from any person or group, and he strived to keep it that way. I felt like I was a spy stepping out in open fire; was this okay? Of course it was, I answered. He wouldn't be inviting me in his room if he didn't want me in his territory.

He never looked at me over his shoulder as he guided me towards the back of his room. I held onto his hand tightly up until he loosened his grip so much that my hand fell back to my side. Shadow stepped forward, taking hold of the window, and threw it open in one swift motion. As soon as the window was open, a sudden breeze filled the air, tossing my quills behind my shoulders. The breeze chilled me slightly. It made my eyes water as I walked forward, and just as I brought up my hand to dry my eyes, he turned back to me.

"You have to trust me, especially if you're afraid of heights."

It was like he read my mind; I was terrified of them. My heart throbbed with sheer discontent fear as he snatched my hand forcefully, almost if he had no care if I wanted to back out of it or not. My waist was gripped, and suddenly I found myself in the air, then on the windowsill. Oh, God, I thought. Is he trying to kill me? I felt dizzy, grabbing onto the frame awkwardly for support. All of this was going so fast, and without hardly any talking between us; I wanted to ask so many questions, like what he was doing or what he was going to show me, but it was as if his intentions were to prevent any questions from being asked. A pain scattered alongside my feet; they molded to the shape of the window and it was hurting me. I stared down in horror; the roof was just a few inches below me, but the ground was two stories down. I could barely even see the grass in the darkness of the night sky. My head throbbed and my throat grew dry; acrophobia was kicking in.

"Step down."

His simple command seemed like a death wish aimed at me. Still, my heart acted before my head could reject, and I reached down with my right foot, feeling the coarse texture of the roof. Unfortunately my step down turned into a stumble out that was just short of disaster. I toppled out of the window, landing on my tail and sliding a few inches before I was able to stop myself from falling off. I clenched the surface with my fists, my head spinning in pure fear. Adrenaline rushed through my body, life flashing before my very eyes. Shadow's hand touched my shoulder, and his strength gave him a capability to lift me up with one hand. I was still in panic from my clumsy fall.

"Please don't kill me…" I muttered without any thought. His peak hearing certainly picked it up as he pulled me up to my feet, but his emotion and tone didn't change one octave when he spoke.

"I wasn't planning to."

I almost expected him to end it with a delayed "yet". The way Shadow talked to me was suspenseful and smooth at the same time, it sounded like something straight from a movie. It was both captivating and threatening at the same time; perhaps it was just his style, which most likely unintentionally swooned other girls like me. We shared a moment's gaze, and then he turned around and led me along the angled surface of the roof until coming to a stop near the far edge of the house.

When we came to a stop, I looked around, trying to find something, anything that Shadow would be interested in showing me. I felt my heart jitter as I realized that he and I were the only ones outside; there was no Sonic, no other girl, no other person. This was strictly _our _time. He targeted me and decided to show me and only me whatever this thing was; so I was special. Me! I blushed a happy rose color. Maybe he had the same feelings for me as I did him?

I was surprised to see him sit down on the roof, resting his arms on his knees and looking on the horizon. I was clueless why he did what he did, but I mimicked his actions and sat next to him, cautious of our distance. I sat a good two feet away from him as if he had the biggest space bubble on the face of the Earth. I doubted his tolerance of closeness, especially of someone like me, someone he didn't know that well. But after a few seconds, awkwardness tugged at my stomach and brought back a small feeling of nausea from before. I took deep, even breaths, trying to calm myself down. I hoped that whatever Shadow wanted to show me would come out soon.

"Shadow, what –"

"It's this."

His hand spread out toward the night sky. I turned my attention to the direction he showed, and I gasped, my eyes beholding small bright dots covering a sheet of black. I ran my eyes over every speck I could find, no longer recognizing any of the constellations I had seen before during a stroll in the city. Because our house was far away from Westopolis's borders, there was hardly a manmade source of light anywhere. I never noticed how many there were until then; there were so many little lights cast into swooping curves and spiraling shapes that left little to no darkness left. Every second my eyes adjusted to the blackness outside, more and more stars appeared. There had to be dozens of millions of them; I never paid any attention to it before and it was so wonderful, so amazing that I almost forgot Shadow was sitting next to me. I couldn't take my eyes off of them all.

"The sky…it's…so pretty…"

His crimson eyes reflected the small orbs of light, saying nothing for the longest time. I guessed that he was deep in thought, much like he was all the time.

"Shadow, it's amazing. I've never seen this before in my entire life. This is what you wanted to show me?" I asked, my heart welling up with joy. The stars were so romantic.

"Yes. All the stars, space…the universe." Shadow explained. I was at full attention now. "I don't know if it's because I was raised in space, or if my Black Arms heritage adds that homey feeling when I see it, but the stars always make me feel thankful for what I have here on Earth. The stars are the only thing I have left from fifty years ago."

I bit my lip, thinking it over. I had a good idea forming from his little speech, but I wasn't sure if it was too sad for him to take. I hoped it wouldn't hurt my chances too much, either.

"Is it because of Maria?"

The name caused Shadow's head to turn to me. His eyes looked hurt. "What?"

"Maria…you know, she's in heaven. Maria and Gerald. They're with the stars, looking down at you." I said carefully, finding my voice to be quieter than normal. Shadow looked away from me, my thoughts echoing in his head. I couldn't tell if he was okay with what I had said or not.

After several moments of silence, I continued. "What I was told was that when people die, they turn into stars. Every night they appear and look down at you sleeping, and sometimes they're the ones that give you good dreams. After my parents died, I always felt alone and sad all the time, but when Cream's mother told me that, I felt better. So maybe it's the same way with Maria and Gerald; they love you so much and when they passed away, they turned into stars and look down on you every night."

A pause came after my speech. Finally Shadow opened his eyes. "They're not just looking down on me. They're looking down on you, too."

I felt honored to hear something like that come from him. I got the courage to scoot closer to him, and he didn't seem to mind. There was only a foot of space between us now.

"They're looking down on all of us." I agreed, feeling my cheeks warm up. Shadow hesitantly replied:

"Yes…they are."

Then, Shadow did the unthinkable: the corner of his mouth jerked up slightly at me; a smile. I felt like bursting into tears of joy and throwing myself into his arms, but something internal stopped me. It was my promise that I had made to myself, to never repeat the mistakes I had made, to never obsess, and to never stick to him like glue. At that moment, I felt like a new person, almost like a grown-up lady searching for love rather than a little girl. I wish I could've told him the new thing I promised myself, but I held back and simply smiled back.

"That was very endearing, Amy. Thank you." Shadow returned his gaze at the sparkling sky. I closed my eyes, feeling the lights of the stars shine inside me, thankful for a connection that was made between us. His comment was completely and totally serious; if Sonic had said it, he would have been sarcastic. It took long enough, but I knew deep down that there was still hope for me yet.


	8. Sympathy and Defeat

_Chapter 7: here we are! THIS one is one of my favorite chapters...it's a heavy foreshadowing of something...__I tell nothing, but I do want to hear your guesses on this little mystery we have going on. :D _

_I don't think there's anything else. o.o Enjoy!_

_-Laz_

* * *

We stayed out, staring at the sky and exchanging words until the tips of the sun's rays were visible on the horizon. In the end, I had lived up to my promise; I managed to tell him what had been going on since the aliens' attack on Earth, minus leaving Sonic behind. If I told him anything about moving on from Sonic, it might give him a hint that I had feelings for Shadow – something that I wasn't ready for quite yet. He shared what happened afterwards to him, going into further detail of the military's offering to him, which consisted of the commander's formal apology for everything done in the past. I decided to back out of the topic of his decision, simply because I felt uncomfortable talking about it. They way he spoke made me wonder if he had a hard time talking about it as well.

Still, it surprised me how talkative he was. He was still the silent and pensive black hedgehog I knew, but when he did speak, Shadow had a lot to say. When he spoke, my ears picked up on more emotion and heartfelt feelings than I usually heard from him. It made me feel even more special to be sitting next to Shadow. There were moments where I forced myself to stop talking out of fear that he was getting annoyed with me, but he urged me to continue what I was saying. Three times that happened; it seemed like he enjoyed the sound of my voice, which flattered me and gave me a new hope for happiness. Someone finally listening to me, especially one of the opposite gender, was the best gift the heavens could give me.

But when a faint light hit the black sky, turning it purple at the edges, I heard Shadow shift. After a brief silence, Shadow stood and offered me his hand. "You should probably return to sleep now. That lasted a little longer than I expected."

I wanted to stay and continue speaking with him, but I instinctively took his hand and got to my feet. I smiled at him, my cheeks red from touching his hand.

"No, it's okay – I wasn't all that tired anyway. I had a really fun time, Shadow. Thanks!" I suddenly realized that my sentences were fluent, my stuttering gone, and my head was clear. Cream's idea was working, and in no time, I'd be able to confess my love for him. Joy welled up in my heart.

He nodded passively at my comment and started towards the guest bedroom's window. I followed close behind, admiring him from the back. His quills were angled at delicate and perfect points, colored in such a rich satiny black that couldn't be matched by a god. If I were his, I mused, I would be the luckiest girl in the entire universe. To have someone like Shadow hold my hand, show me the way, and protect me from any evil that was out there would be a dream come true. He topped Sonic and so much more; what was I thinking, chasing after Sonic? It was a relationship doomed to inevitable failure and sadness; I wanted to be in one spot all the time and Sonic wanted to be everywhere. He simply belonged with someone else and I belonged with Shadow, and I wondered why I didn't understand earlier.

When we reached the window, he stepped back inside with ease; I was astounded at his agility. I placed my hands on the window frame, preparing to lift my foot up onto it when Shadow offered me his hand. I swallowed when I saw his outstretched hand and I froze up. Was I to show how strong I was and go in by myself or just avoid any possible damage and take his hand? Before I could think any longer, my hand touched his once more, gripping it tightly as he whisked me inside. My feet touched the carpet, and I was amazed to find myself without a single scratch. Finally, a moment between us where I wasn't a stupid klutz.

"Does that kind of 'friendship bonding' satisfy your needs, Amy?" Shadow asked on the way to his door, escorting me out. I gasped; so _that_ was what it was all about. I blushed, growing so warm that I felt like I couldn't stand up straight for much longer.

"Of course! That's just what I meant!" I replied sweetly. My head disconnected with my heart again, and I began to go overboard with my words. "It was that and so much more, Shadow. I can't thank you enough."

I gained control of myself before I went out of control, shutting my mouth and taking a deep breath. I watched the black hedgehog relax up against his door, taking in the fresh air still coming in from the open window. Shadow's eyes closed for a brief moment as he leaned against the doorframe. When he opened them once more, his crimson red orbs were cast to his left, avoiding eye contact with me. I was in suspense, waiting for any movement or any noise.

"If you enjoyed it so much, I suppose we could do it again tomorrow…" he mumbled. I beamed in response. It was so out of his character to say something like that, I squealed in my brain; my plan was working! I barely had to do anything any longer!

"Sure! I'd love to!" I replied, overflowing with pure delight. Shadow's blank expression remained intact on his face, but he nodded in agreement as he reached over to the doorknob. That was my cue, I knew, to leave him in peace. Though I desired a good night kiss, I decided not to overstay my welcome.

I stepped a mere three steps when something glittered out of the corner of my eye. I stopped in my tracks. When I came into his room before, there wasn't anything sparkly or shiny, or, at least, that's what I thought. I turned my head to my right, searching for the source of the twinkling light; it was Shadow's bed my eyes beheld, but on the headboard I found there to be something strange I didn't see before. It was a long golden chain that held two odd spiked shapes, draped around one post of the headboard. It was a mysterious object, and I longed to get a closer look. My curiosity overcame my intelligence and I tip-toed over to his bed, staring closely at it. It appeared somewhat tarnished and gave off a strange aura.

"Eh?" I asked, examining the shapes closer. "What's this?"

I felt Shadow's emotion tremor, sending waves of heaviness into the air. It made my heart pound. He walked over to my side, peering over my shoulder and I began to feel warm. I could tell without looking that he was trying to form words but couldn't come up with anything.

"That…" he started, and hesitated. I glanced up at him with big green eyes. "…that is something that you shouldn't be touching."

Like clockwork, my hand dropped it, letting it fall back onto the bedpost. I backed away, my hands still up at my shoulders.

"I-I'm sorry…!" I stammered. Shadow remained where he was, reaching out to it, touching it lightly. After a moment or two of his stationary position, I slowly walked back to where I was. He was staring at the chain with saddened, dark eyes and his mouth was curved into a frown. I blinked, glancing at it, at him, and back to it once more. I wondered if I broke it; he looked so shattered.

"Shadow, are you okay?" I asked, my heart heavy with concern. He blinked, gripping the smaller shape tightly.

"Amy…if I tell you what this is, will you promise you will not tell anyone?" Shadow asked. His voice was tense and low; whatever he needed to say, he needed to get it off his chest, and I was willing to listen. It was too serious of a time to reject him now.

"Of course," I answered without pause. Shadow sighed, gathering up the words and strength to tell me the identity of the object he was holding. His breathing was steady and even, but inside, I knew he was dealing with emotions I had never seen him show. I was patient, waiting for whenever he was ready. Finally, after what seemed like hours, he spoke.

"This…is the talisman that my fa–" he stopped, backtracked, and started again, "the talisman that Black Doom wore when he was still alive."

My body felt heavy at the alien leader's name. Shadow killed him in battle just before the Earth was about to be irreversibly changed by his alien minions, and since then, I had never heard Black Doom's name be said by anyone, especially Shadow. I forgot how much emotional turmoil he could have been going through afterwards; he had found out that Black Doom was Shadow's biological father because of the blood and genetics they shared. I didn't know what to say when Shadow spoke that sentence, and when my eyes returned to the talisman Shadow held in his hand, shivers ran down my spine. I felt wary, as if Black Doom's soul was staring right back at us, but when I saw Shadow's calmness, I eased. He looked so tranquil, yet restless at the same time. I frowned.

"Where…?" I stuttered.

"Near a forest."

"But did you find _him_?" I asked with fear trembling in my voice. Shadow's head moved side to side slowly. My heart jolted.

"I looked everywhere, but I couldn't find any trace of him. This was the only thing left…" he trailed off, finally looking back at me. I folded my hands, trying to hide my tense posture. "The odd thing is, it's a strangely effective way to warn if there's danger approaching. That's how I found your home."

As he released the alien talisman, I longed to ask him how he was coping with Black Doom's death; something told me that he didn't want to kill him now. Killing his last family member must have been hard for him. I couldn't find the right words to say to him, even though I had an intense passion to ask him. Coming up with nothing still, I found myself stepping towards him. I unfolded my hands and wrapped my arms around his torso, squeezing tightly.

His heart pounded against his chest, which pounded against mine, and it triggered a rush of amazing feelings in a flash. My eyes closed, taking in his warmth and soft black fur. He smelled of jasmine and cotton, which threw me for a whirl of pleasure. I vowed after smelling him that jasmine and cotton would be my favorite smells on the face of the Earth. It was a wonder, I thought, how someone could make a hedgehog so sentimental and so handsome at the same time. Shadow was perfect in every aspect; his emotions needed some TLC, sure, but that was nothing I couldn't fix. I never wanted him to leave, nor did I ever want to let him go.

Suddenly reality smacked me in the face. I realized I was hugging Shadow the Hedgehog, and without asking him, too. My face turned red, and I released him, turning around to hide my face.

"I'm sorry! I don't know what I was thinking!" I wished to run away and escape my embarrassment, but my legs were so weak that I couldn't move an inch. I buried my face in my hands, trying to regain my composure. I heard Shadow's footsteps approach me, and I knew I was in for a ride full of humiliation.

I felt his hand on my shoulder, and I lifted my face from my hands slowly. He didn't say anything for a minute; it was just the two of us standing in silence looking at each other for moments on end.

"Thank you." He gave a small, slight smile to me. I blinked up at him, deeply confused and intoxicated by his sincerity. "I'll see you in the morning."

With that, as if he cast a spell on me, my legs strengthened and I was able to walk with him to the door. I exited his temporary room, looking back at him once more before he closed it. I felt my lips curve into a smile, and he closed his eyes, nodded once, and I heard the door latch. In an instant, I ran into my room, fighting the urge to giggle out of delight. My spirit lifted off the ground, flying high into the heavens. I could picture us clearly together, holding hands and kissing. I leaped onto my bed, digging myself into the tangle of the sheets with glee. I managed to hug him without creeping him out completely, and I swore he actually liked it.

With images of Shadow and I holding hands and being together forever, I fell fast asleep with a wide smile on my face.


	9. Time's Curse

_This chapter is kind of a "let's get this thing moving" type of chapter. Talking about a month full of them doing nothing but talking on the roof would be redundant and kind of boring, I thought, so we'll summarize a little bit. _

_I'm sorry if you don't like it that way but I felt like it was the best option. D: Hope you like it anyways!_

_-Laz_

* * *

The next morning I awoke with the same cheerful disposition I was in the night before. As soon as my eyes opened, I hopped out of bed, combed my quills, and put on my usual dress and boots, but I noticed something different in the mirror. My face was bright and glowing, and my posture was straight, my shoulders back and my head high. The days before, I had been so self-conscious about myself, especially when Shadow was around me, but that morning I felt content with my existence. Before I went downstairs, I reminded myself not to get too hyper still. There was the matter of convincing Shadow to stay in the same house as me, and if I was too careless with my attitude, it could drive him away. I wanted every night to be like the night before.

I dashed down the stairs to see everyone seated around the table, and for a moment, I panicked when I saw Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles wolfing their breakfast down. I didn't sleep in that much, I recalled; it was eight when I got dressed. I noticed Cream reading a neatly-folded newspaper in a manner that made me wonder if she knew the boys opposite of her were eating like animals. I didn't see Shadow, though, which concerned me. Maybe he was still sad about last night? Either way, I tried to get past Shadow for the moment.

"Uh…good morning…?" I said in attempts to get everyone's attention. Only Cream lifted her head from the newspaper and waved at me from her seat.

"Good morning, Amy!" she cheered. I waved back, still trying to find Shadow. When I walked further into the dining room, though, I spotted a black figure standing in the kitchen. I turned myself in his direction, unable to resist smiling at him.

"Um…" I started. I was unsure of what to say; did he remember last night, or, for that matter, did he want to even acknowledge it?

"Good morning." His low voice met the air and sent me in a love-dazed trance. Our bonding time did work after all! Cream's jaw dropped in shock of Shadow's response. She looked over at me, mouthing the words "what on Earth" as I merely smiled back at her.

"How are you?" I asked, my voice shaking ever so slightly. I was still thrown off from his greeting.

"Fine. Just waiting for…" He casually pointed behind me toward Sonic and the others with an annoyed look. I glanced over at the three, catching Cream doing the same. She was studying our conversation intensely. I was eager to tell her all about the night before.

"Oh, really? What for?"

"Egghead's at it again – Tails just picked up some weird activity going on in Central City," Sonic explained with his mouth full. I almost fumed; he was listening to our conversation, too. "So we gotta get going pretty fast." Sonic dropped his fork, swallowing the last bite of his food and jumping off his chair. "Ready to go smashing, Shad?"

Shadow nodded once, standing up straight as the other two followed suit and ran out of the kitchen. Sonic waited for Shadow to pass by me before running out of the dining room, flashing me a strange smile, as if he knew something. I wanted to stop him and ask what he was thinking, but he was gone before I could gather my voice.

Soon the house was still and silent. Cream and I were the only ones left, and suddenly she moaned. I looked over at her in question, only to find her picking up the dishes that were left on the table. Her eyes were narrowed, her mouth pressed into a thin line as she stacked them on top of each other and carried them into the kitchen.

"Ugh, those boys…sometimes I wish I didn't have to do all this work!" she sighed. Cream seemed miffed at the boys' irresponsibility, but I didn't care. For the first time in months I was happy to be alive. Suddenly, she turned around and ran up to me, grabbing my hands. "Okay, Amy, tell me everything! You and Shadow seem more comfortable; why? Did something happen last night?"

I laughed, my cheeks turning a rosy red once more. "Only a little friendship bonding."

* * *

Night after night, Shadow and I would climb up on top of the roof and stare at the stars for a few hours. It surprised me how much we talked with one another; I was able to expose his friendly, talkative side and I dubbed myself the first person in the universe to ever do such a thing. We never ran out of topics to discuss; one night we talked about space, the next about my parents' death (I cried a little that time), another about beating Eggman's robots to a pulp. There was so much variety and conversation that I wondered how many ideas Shadow had built up inside of him in the past years. When he showed me Black Doom's talisman that one night and showed me a hint of emotion, I knew that he had so much to say and only a little time to say it.

But not only that, I discovered that he was a really kind person and a good listener, almost like Cream was, but offered legitimate responses, which threw me off guard as well. But all in all, I knew Shadow was at least remotely enjoying our time outside together. I saw him smile several times, and heard him chuckle once or twice. Needless to say, I loved being outside with him and could barely sleep before he came to my door to get me. Throughout those four weeks, we had very few disagreements over constellations and such, but they never resulted in full-out fights.

I was so happy with Shadow, and this time, I knew in my heart that my happiness was real. Cream saw it and looked more joyful than before, too. She didn't have to worry about me as much now. It relieved me to know that she could worry about herself now without taking care of me at the same time.

I heard great things about Shadow's performance with the rest of the team, too. It was particularly relaxing when Shadow had gone along with the rest of the team to fight Eggman off. As the days went by, Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles looked less and less tired than ever before. Shadow was a great addition to the team; and of course, I would ask how the battle went from that day, and Shadow would shrug it off, explaining that it wasn't that hard to wipe all the robots out. He scoffed once that Eggman was losing his touch and seemed to have an interest of Shadow's help. It made me worried, but he quickly dismissed it, assuring me that he would never work for such a weak, worthless villain ever again. He promised me twice, and that was enough to convince me.

As the days went by, I found that he and I got closer; both emotionally and physically. We started sitting closer to one another, and he would let me grab his hand sometimes if something were exciting or emotional in our conversations. He never changed his face when I touched him, and I wished that he would show me some sort of sign if he liked it or not. But already, over a course of four weeks, Shadow and I were closer than Sonic and I would have ever been. It was nice; I felt like someone cared about me genuinely other than Cream. I wished I had the guts to tell Shadow how much I cared about him, but I had to settle for the implied actions.

The night before his departure, though, it was strangely quiet. It was the last time being together outside under the sky for the rest of our lives. I became distracted from my deadline of a month to convince him to stay; I was so excited to just be around him in the first place that I almost sort of forgot. Neither of us knew what to say; we knew what was coming, and I was hurting a lot that day, worrying over Shadow's decision. I didn't know what to do, or what to think. My time for telling him my true feelings was running out fast, but I knew I wasn't ready to tell him. Why wasn't my confession to Sonic as hard as this? Because, I answered, my love for Sonic wasn't love at all.

Finally, underneath the swirling mass of stars, Shadow spoke. His voice was quiet, sadder than before, which pained me to compare it with his talkative disposition from before.

"I'll miss this place."

"Huh?" I was taken aback at the comment. I had no idea what he meant by it, and I almost didn't want to know what he was going into, but I let him continue before I questioned anything.

"One of the things I enjoy most these days is looking at the stars for hours and just thinking. Sometimes I don't even think; sometimes I just stare blankly and meditate when we aren't talking." His face darkened as a frown formed. I watched him in his dark silence. He was so captivating to watch, even when he was as motionless as a rock. "I doubt I'll be able to do the same thing anymore; I'll probably have restrictions as to when I can go walk around or do anything." Shadow continued. He sounded sad, and it tugged at my heart, triggering my urge to cry. He needed a hug so badly, but just as I adjusted my arms to prepare for a hug, he spoke again. "I don't know how well I'll hold up without watching night go by."

His crimson eyes closed, reflecting on his thoughts. I knew he was in a bad mood that night. Normally, if we talked with each other, he and I would talk about normal, happy things that raised my spirits. But he never talked that saddening and cold way to me. He couldn't hide his emotions from me anymore, no matter how hard he tried, and it hurt to see him so sad. I began to question whether he wanted to leave or not.

"You don't want to leave, do you?" I said, half-asking, half-declaring. He remained silent, but before I could say anything else, his velvety voice rose up to the air.

"That's not it, Amy." Shadow replied. "I don't know where I belong. Ever since I finished off the Black Arms, I've had this strange nagging feeling. I feel like I don't know where to go, nor will I ever know. Everywhere I go, I see flaws in places that could potentially be my home. Eggman has malicious intentions, as did Black Doom, and I could never feel right complying with obeying orders that were made to kill. I've realized that the military is constricting, and it brings back memories of death and pain from my past, the very past I want to leave behind."

"But what's wrong with staying here?" I urged cautiously. He stiffened.

"Your hospitality is endearing, Amy, but I feel out of place when I'm here. It's still not right. You and Sonic are…far too different from me."

I almost felt offended at his comment, relating Sonic and I in the same sentence, but instead I felt a pang of regret. I must have not toned myself down enough for him, I thought. Maybe I laughed too much or did too many stupid things? I probably did something wrong throughout his stay. I ran through all the mistakes I made within the past month, and coming up with more than what I would have liked, I apologized sadly and shamefully.

"I'm sorry I was a bad hostess…"

"Amy, no, it's not your fault…" he replied almost instantly. I looked up at him with big green eyes. "Really, it's not. It's mostly mine. I'm just more distant that you and it's almost a waste of space for me to stay here."

I wanted to slap him. "Shadow, you'd never be a waste of space! Everyone wants you to stay! Everyone here appreciates your aid; you're a powerful fighter and a great teammate! You've gotta believe that; Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Cream, and I…we want you to stay here. Ever since day one, we've all known that you belong with us. You're not a mindless killing machine that the military sees you as; you're a hero like the rest of us and we want you to stay here forever!"

He and I were both surprised at my outburst. I was shocked to find that my eyes weren't wet with tears. He just stared at me, looking deep into my eyes, as if he were reading my broken soul. Shadow looked away and down at the distant ground from the roof.

"I don't think you understand, Amy. Everywhere I've been, I feel like I've been nothing but trouble. Even since the day I was born."

I had much more to say to him, but the words were stuck in my throat. He was wrong about himself, I thought. I wanted to get inside his head and change all his thoughts around to a more positive outlook on the world and his life. It had to be tough for him to have a rough past, sure, but that shouldn't stop him from moving onto a better and happier life.

"Shadow…" my voice cracked as I managed to stammer words. "Please don't think that way, because it's not true…"

My plea wasn't enough for him to change his mind. He avoided discussing it further.

"Thank you for sitting up here and talking with me for the past few weeks. I really appreciate your company. It makes me feel a little more worthwhile." Shadow stood up, taking my hand and practically dragging me to the window. I wanted to tell him everything on my mind, but the words still refused to come out. My time to convince him to stay was running out rapidly. I only had one more day now before he left. This would be the last time I would ever sit outside with him in the early hours if I failed my mission of persuading him.

I went inside on my own accord, but when we got to his door, I didn't thank him like I usually did; I walked away from him and shut myself in my room.


	10. Resisting Goodbyes

_-sigh- Up next is the epiolgue. Then it's done. DX_

_-Laz_

* * *

The house was heavy that day, weighed down by both the rain and feelings of sorrow for Shadow's incoming departure. Eggman wasn't up to anything that entire day, which left Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails inside with hardly anything to do. Cream and I shared the same depressed feeling throughout the entire day. We spent most of our time drinking tea and trying to relax, but it was no use. Everyone knew he was leaving. Whatever we did to make him leave was by accident and beyond our understanding, but it was completely apparent that he didn't want to stay.

I never saw Shadow that day, either. He stayed locked in the guest room, meditating or thinking, I thought, not wishing to see a soul at the door. It made me regret everything. I wondered if it was me who spoiled our chances of his stay. Maybe I got too close after all, I mourned. I ruined everything.

As Cream poured me another cup of tea, I didn't bother to look up at her. Out of the same nostalgic depression I felt months prior, I let my head fall into my arms, resting on the table. The last day.

My mission failed.

* * *

That night I tossed and turned as my emotions finally kicked in with more force than I had ever felt. Sensations of fear, longing, and love tangled together in my heart and resulted in just a big mass of confusion. I shifted positions every other moment, trying to get some peace, but my mind kept racing. It would always remind me constantly that Shadow was leaving tomorrow morning. My throat tightened at the sound of his name echoing in my head as I prepared myself to cry an ocean of tears, but they never came. I didn't want them to come, but if I had to cry, I guess I wanted it to be in the safety of my room.

I was exhausted, just ready to fall asleep, but just as soon as I closed my eyes, I would see his face and remember; I'd remember that the approaching morning was the day to say goodbye. It was like I was in the mindset that he was going to be killed tomorrow, and I was the only one who knew. I protested to myself, how it wasn't fair for someone to decide for him, especially the military and how they destroyed his life. I hated the military now. We had everything under control, and if Shadow were there with us, we'd be more than capable to protect the world. I realized that I was being hypocritical. If I hated the military for deciding his destiny for him, I should hate myself for trying to persuade him into staying. I was being the exact thing I hated. My stomach turned. I was so greedy and my love was blinding me the entire time. I felt like a criminal.

Finally, I rolled onto my back, staring at the ceiling. It had to be midnight by now, but I didn't want to look at the clock. The clock was like a bomb set for tomorrow. I clenched onto the edge of my blankets. I felt so trapped. Shadow was leaving and I never got to tell him my real feelings for him. At this point, I didn't care if he returned them or if he embraced me; I wanted to get myself out there to him. With Rouge and her pretty looks and flirty attitude, I had overwhelming competition, but if I got a head start, I'd be able to get him fast. I didn't know if I made enough of a start, though. Maybe she was the reason he was leaving; I never considered Rouge in this. What a mistake, I groaned.

I felt my eyes become wet. It still wasn't fair, I muttered aloud, sitting up. My quills hung messily from my head, shielding me from the moonlight beaming in my window. Tears rolled down my cheeks. To think that I, Amy Rose, once a committed fan of Sonic, cared so much about Shadow was surprising to me still, but now I didn't care. I wiped my eyes, trying to keep quiet so I wouldn't wake anyone up. My crying sent me into quiet hiccups. I turned around, plopping down onto the mattress, and dug my face into a pillow. I shook as I sobbed. My hands squeezed the pillow, ready to just float away on my own sea of tears.

I lost track of time until I wore myself out with all my crying. It took me moments to attain the strength to wipe my eyes with my hands. I rolled over, heaving a shaky sigh. I had to relax. If I got this stressed out, I would be a total mess by the time the morning came around. As I blinked, my eyes were still wet, as if they were going to be soaked for the rest of my life. I ran my fingers through my bangs, sniffing still. I took deep breaths in attempts to relax. Something would work out, I told myself. It might be okay…

"Amy?"

It startled me; I nearly screamed, but managed to hold it back and let a gasp out. I looked toward the door, the source of the sound, and saw a black hedgehog standing there. It…it was Shadow; I recognized that silhouette anywhere. I sat up, hands shaking as I tried to pull my covers up over me better. I didn't know what to do next; was it a dream? A hallucination? Was I really going crazy?

"Are you alright?" he asked, coming closer. He was illuminated by the moonlight, which was a little eerie for my taste. I fought the urge to turn on the lamp; if he saw the mess I was right now, I wouldn't be able to show my face to him ever again.

"Y-yeah," I stammered, my voice cracking. "Just a bad dream…"

Shadow walked closer and sat at the foot of my bed. The added weight on my mattress was, for some reason, relieving.

"You sure it wasn't me?" he asked in a monotone voice. Gawd, I thought, he might as well be reading my mind. I didn't even know how long he was standing there, but I didn't know how to answer him. I hugged my knees close, exposing myself totally to the cold air. He stared at me, waiting for an answer. If there was an ideal time to admit everything, this was it. My heart raced. I wiped the wetness from my eyes. His posture slumped slightly at the sight, even when the gesture didn't mean anything in particular. I felt worse for that, but I still didn't have the courage to say anything.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up." I fake-chuckled as I looked away, trying to convince him it was no big deal. Shadow frowned.

"You didn't. I just wanted to come in to say goodbye."

My eyes widened and I looked at him. He was leaving…now? My crying wasn't in vain, then; it was impossible for another time to convince him to leave. Nothing could work out ever. I panicked, screaming in my head for help. I swore he said he would leave tomorrow, so I thought he meant in the morning, but he couldn't have tricked me like that so easily. My eyes watered and my throat tightened. I was about to have a breakdown. I wanted to run, but the sheets clung to my pajamas, and my pajamas clung to my skin. I had a million anchors tied down on me.

"You're leaving? Now?" I asked, my voice cracking again. Shadow looked at the floor, nodding.

"I think it's for the best; I don't want a huge commotion, after all." he said after a pause in his calm, collected voice. I felt like a blubbering crybaby compared to him.

"You can't – not yet…" I trailed off, my eyes stinging with returning tears. I didn't expect anymore crying in a year after how I sobbed so much.

Shadow looked at me, with a face that almost looked hurt. (It was like he was surprised that I had said it; why didn't he see the signs of me wanting him to stay before?) But his frown looked so disrupted, like I had knocked him off of his mountain, and I realized then that more tears were rolling down my cheeks. I dug my face into my knees, trying to regain my composure. I felt his hand on my shoulder, and then the bed shook as his other hand met my other shoulder. They moved to my back, giving me a small hug, and they let go. I brought my head up, only to meet his concerned red eyes that I had always unconsciously admired.

"I'll be okay." he assured. I shook my head. It wasn't that I doubted him, it was that I wanted him to never leave our house again. He took it the wrong way. "Amy, I won't die out there…"

"I know you won't!" I blurted suddenly, uncaring as to how loud I was. "I just want you to stay!"

My head spun out of control as I panted hard. I fell into him, hugging his warm abdomen like it was a teddy bear. The scent of jasmine came once again, bringing more tears to my eyes. I didn't want to know what his reaction was to me. Why didn't I know that I loved him sooner? I wanted to turn back time and redo everything all over again. Perhaps then it would have made a difference. As I shook in his arms, he did nothing but hold me there. I felt better that he did what I hoped, but I didn't want to let go of him for the world. He was too sweet to let go. His grip on me was gentle, yet tight. It was like he was feeling every emotion in me and reflected them perfectly into me. Sure, I felt embarrassed that I was sobbing like a toddler in his arms, but I didn't care then. I just wanted us to stay like that for an eternity.

After minutes of us together, a wave of exhaustion crept over me. It was my crying that was draining me out with each tear. I tried to fight it. If I fell asleep, he would leave me. He would let me go and I would be alone. I would never see him again. I would never have the chance to explain my affection towards him. It was a chance I needed; I would die without it. I prayed for help to keep myself awake; I prayed that a force would let Shadow know that he should stay; I prayed that Maria up in heaven would tell Shadow how much I loved him. I couldn't have prayed harder in a million years.

Unfortunately for me, my strength was diminished and my prayers went unanswered. My muscles relaxed as my mind went into a vast blankness. No, I cried in my head. Did I deserve this? Where did I go wrong that made the universe hate me so much? With my last amount of power, I gripped tighter on Shadow's arm, pleading one last time for help to make him stay, and I felt him return it to me. With his arms around me, I fell into a sleep that was incredibly deep, almost like death, and there was nothing I could do about it.


	11. Epilogue

_"When I tied the ribbon and smiled, I felt like I'd become a new person. _

_That little courage became confidence, and I forgot about the time before I met you." _

_-Rika Komatsu, "My Sweet Heart"_

Tears streamed down my face. Not even the brightest of stars could have cheered me up; I missed Shadow beyond anyone's recognizing. Even with all the colors swirling about in the sky when the sun sat, I never smiled like I used to. I thought I would have never smiled again; after all those years of fake happiness I felt, the only true feelings of joy I felt were associated with Shadow being with me. He talked to me, comforted me, and offered me advice, just as Cream had, but somehow the words he spoke to me were so much better. I had never seen him so friendly around anyone before; and he chose me of all people to talk to and care about.

But now it was gone; my happiness, my hope, my love, and my crush. They were all gone forever. How I would ever be my hopeful self again was beyond me. If I ever wanted a chance at it, Shadow had to be there. The only thing that remained was the place I sat in at that very moment: the roof that he and I had sat on together all those early mornings, watching the stars and waiting for the sun to rise and greet us to another day. He and I had been through so much together over the past month; I found his soft side and he found mine. We were destined for each other.

I had unimaginable feelings of hatred toward the military. They got in the way of everything, including this. If I had more time, maybe even a few more days, I would have been able to walk up to Shadow and admit all my passionate feelings for him, but no; they had to intervene and give Shadow such a restricted time to think things over. Knowing them, they probably forced him to join.

"It's not fair," I muttered between sobs. I wanted the military to give him back to me, to give back what they took away. What he said that morning before he left convinced me that he wanted to stay. And why wouldn't he? Everyone wanted him to. He could've done great things with us. From the stories I heard, Shadow was a fantastic, flawless fighter with Sonic and the rest of the team.

I wiped my eyes with my arm. I might as well suck it up and get used to it, I scolded myself. You had your chance and you blew it, and now you'll stay sad for the rest of your life. I needed to pick myself up and move on; it was obvious that Shadow didn't return the feelings that I had for him. He was just like Sonic after all.

"Amy?"

I gasped, startled by the voice. Did I dare turn to see who it was? My secret hiding spot was blown, the same spot that Shadow found first, and I never wanted anyone to find it out. But before I could think anything more of it, my head turned towards the source. And what I saw stunned me, freezing my limbs to the roof and making my eyes widen through my hot tears. The figure was leaning out the guest room window, propping himself up with one hand with ease on the roof. I recognized the perfectly structured silhouette anywhere.

"S-Shadow…!" I exclaimed, my eyes overflowing with tears. I broke myself free of the trance, standing up as I cried vigorously. He got out of the window and swiftly made his way over to me. Without thinking, I threw myself into his arms when he was in reach, weeping like a child. I shook in his arms, gasping for air as he held me steady.

"Are you alright? You don't seem like yourself…" he asked me, overwhelmed. I couldn't reply for the longest time as I cried into his shoulder. He waited for an answer, but finally relaxed. His arms held me tightly, giving me a hug that sent chills of genuine happiness, the happiness I had been searching for, into my heart.

Finally he said something. "Amy, I'm sorry for leaving, really."

I took in a gulp of air shakily, still crying. I sniffed, holding him tighter. "It's okay…" I lied. I didn't want to worry him or make him feel bad for what pain he unknowingly caused me; and now that he was standing there with me, I felt no obligation to be mad at him.

"No, it's not." Shadow replied, trying to get a look at my face concealed in his black fur. He gave up trying to push me away and finally let me be with my crying. "My thoughts were so…wrong. I have never been so wrong in my entire life. I left after you fell asleep, ready to accept the military's position because I felt that it was the best choice from the beginning, but it being early morning and all, I saw the stars when I was standing just outside of the base."

I blinked, my sobbing coming to a screeching halt. The magical word, "stars" sprang right out at me; it was _our _word, a secret little word that no one else knew about. It had power within its sound when it was said, like a spell. I knew what was coming next.

"I heard your words in my head; what you said about me being a hero – though I feel odd saying it – was right." Shadow's voice got quieter, whispering into my ears like music. "I'm not a killing machine; I know what's right and what's wrong; and I understand who deserves punishment in this world and who doesn't. Fighting alongside Sonic and the others made me feel like a genuine being, but for some reason I chose to ignore it."

I wanted to say something, but, with my mind now fully connected to my heart, I did not allow myself to interrupt him.

"Thinking of not seeing the stars, or you, for that matter, makes me feel so wrong inside. It would be torture not to see you ever again." He gave me a small, tight squeeze. I returned it quickly, clinging to him a little longer than he did me. "I talked to Sonic already; he we discussed and decided that I'm staying here as a part of your team. And as far as I can tell, it was all because of you, Amy. Thank you for showing me the right way."

By the time he finished, I had calmed down, breathing evenly and not a tear in sight. Just his presence and being so close to me felt so right and gave me so much more happiness, drying every tear and fighting off any sadness that came in contact with me. It seemed so surreal, though, for him to be holding me so tightly and talking to me so much, let alone him telling me this exclusively. I wondered if he had told this entire story to anyone else other than Sonic and I.

"Shadow…is this a dream?" I asked. He sighed; I wondered if his voice was tired from everything he said.

"I should hope not. Why?"

I hugged tightly. "Because after years of faking joy, I think I actually feel happy right now."

Though I couldn't see him, I felt him smile. I felt the stars smile, too, and soon, my lips curved into one as well. He sat down with me, still letting me cling onto him like velcro. I knew he didn't like it, but for him to stay with me for just a few more minutes like that meant the world to me. The stars were gradually disappearing into the morning dawn now, satisfied with Shadow's return and our reuniting.

"Are you going to fall asleep now?" he asked quietly, yet monotone. The only thing that could have completed the moment was for him to stroke my quills.

Tiredly, I smiled. "How'd you know?"

"Experience." he chuckled.

I giggled, hugging him once more. I took a final glance up at the stars, where he was gazing up at and thanked the heavens for letting me hold onto my happiness forever. Before I closed my eyes into deep sleep, my heart felt warm, showing me its true love had been found.

_Thank you, Maria, for letting Shadow know where he belongs. You were right all along; he really is a kind person. And on top of that, he's strong and brave, daring and attractive…_

I was surrounded by sleep's gradual darkness.

_And I love him._

_**-Ende-**_


End file.
